What Kind of Love Are You Making?
No, God didn't make a mistake!
Imagine that you and your spouse lived in sexual utopia. You always want to have sex at exactly the same time and the same way. Every initiation is met with an eager response. There is never any conflict about foreplay, being too tired, giving each other pleasure or trying something new in bed because your desires are always exactly the same. How fantastic would that be? It would be almost like the sex portrayed in movies--what a great love life!
God, the creative Creator certainly could have made sex that way. He could have created man and woman to be exactly the same sexually. But He didn’t. In fact, He intentionally made us vastly different.
Did God make a mistake? Did He "mess up" the master design of sex by making a husband and wife so diverse? Does He sit up in Heaven and laugh that we can't seem to please each other?
Remember that even before sin entered the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve had primary sexual differences in the way God created them. God declared His creation of man and woman “very good” and this very good included your sexual differences.
God's design for sex is NOT just for immediate exquisite pleasure (although He is all for that). But God has a much more beautiful gift of intimacy for you and your spouse to open than what the world says sex is about. Here's the catch. It requires a different kind of love.
Sex is designed to be more than an expression of love between a husband and wife. It is also the refining fire of love. It tests and teaches a willing man and woman to reach beyond their natural desires and learn what servant love really is.
The world knows only of a love that feels good. We are born with the natural response to “love” those who meet our physical and emotional needs. This kind of natural love is essentially self-love. It really says, “I love the way you make me feel.”
The differences between you and your spouse will ultimately ask you a question: am I a servant lover or a selfish lover? God is very concerned about what kind of love you are making!
Action Step: Ask your spouse, with an open heart, how can I be a servant lover to you?