God, Sex and Your Marriage

Sex is Like Lego

Sex is a lot like Lego.

…OK, cut me some slack. As the mom of three boys, there seem to be pieces of Lego everywhere I look. Still, I think it is a good analogy.

The first time a child sees a box of Lego he might be naïve enough to think that the box actually contains a toy that looks like the cool picture on the front. Imagine his disappointment when he opens the box to find hundreds of seemingly random pieces of plastic instead of the Batmobile that was promised by the box cover.

The genius and fun of Lego is creativity. First, you follow the directions and build the design represented on the box. But then no child can resist the desire to build something new, to tear the blocks apart and start another creation.

Back to sex… the world may have painted for you a picture on the box… a blissful experience of exquisite pleasure and oneness. Perhaps you have been surprised and disappointed to find that sex has created more conflict in your marriage than intimacy, more pain than pleasure. The metaphoric “pieces” of this gift seem to be strewn around your bedroom, bearing no semblance to the gift you were promised.

Every marriage experiences some obstacle in physical intimacy. Differences in desire, medical issues, recovery from sexual abuse, baggage from poor choices in the past, involvement with porn, a poor body image to name just a few. I’m sure you’ve had periods of your marriage, as I have, in which you ask God, “Wasn’t this supposed to be a gift? With all due respect, God, I think the gift is broken. Any chance I can exchange it for something else?”

The Lord asks you to view the gift of sex as a gift of building. Just like that box of Lego, the joy is found in creating. Regardless of the frustration and difficulty you face in physical intimacy, the Lord wants to build something far more precious than a few moments of physical ecstasy. Unselfishness, grace, forgiveness, unconditional acceptance… each can be forged within the furnace of seeking the Lord through the obstacles you face in the bedroom. Will you invite Him to build?

Questions to ponder: How is sex like Lego in your marriage? What does the Lord want you to “build” together?