God, Sex and Your Marriage

What’s OK in the Bedroom? Part 3

Questions #2: Is it only between you and your spouse?

Well, this question seems like a pretty obvious one. God said “no” to having sex outside of marriage and having sex with someone you’re not married to. So, why do we even ask this question? Because many people fudge on it.

Reserving sex, sexual fantasies, and sexual expression only for your spouse means more than just what you do physically, but what you look at and what you think about. This is not my opinion, this is what Jesus said:

"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Matthew 5:27-28 NIV

This includes fantasy, pornography, on-line relationships, and erotica. This seems like a pretty strict standard. Jesus goes on to advise us on how to deal with temptation:

"If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell." Matthew 5:29

His message is clear—get rid of whatever causes you to sin in your heart! Throw out the mommy porn. If it is a portal for temptation, get rid of your iPhone, satellite TV, or your Facebook account. Cut off the relationship that is tempting you. If you really want to know what God says, take his warning seriously. Stop flirting with anything that causes you to think, lust, or fantasize about a person other than your spouse.

Even if it is WITH your spouse, bringing any other person (real, digital or imagined) is a violation to your covenant love. It will teach you be sexually excited by looking outside your marriage rather than being “intoxicated” by the sexual love within your marriage (Proverbs 5:19)

Action Step:
Is there anything you are doing (with or without your spouse) that violates this principle? If so, confess it before the Lord and get rid of it!