Single, Secure, & ThrivingSample

BREAKUPS TAUGHT ME

As a young girl with a lot of daddy issues, I ran to relationships. They made me feel safe, worthy, and whole. I started dating seriously around 14 and never really stopped. Through middle school, high school, and almost all of college, I was in and out of relationships. I never considered taking time to just be single.

But when you begin to walk with God, He often removes the things you idolize. At 22, after yet another heartbreak, I embraced singleness. I realized I didn’t need another man’s arms or approval — I needed God to heal me. I was shattered, depressed, and feeling unworthy. I even developed an eating disorder, seeing food as the enemy, and my once lively spirit became hard-hearted and lost.

As I embarked on my journey of singleness, I realized that issues like depression, unworthiness, and unhealthy patterns had always been there. In relationships, it was easier to focus on someone else rather than myself. Over the next five years, I committed to doing the real work: confronting my fears, healing my trauma, and working on my beliefs and self-worth.

Now, years later—after a long season of singleness and eventually marrying a great man—I can see that every breakup was really a blessing in disguise.

Breakups taught me:

1. To make decisions based on God, not loneliness or validation. I learned to discern relationships from His prompting and genuine compatibility.
2. Grace for myself and others. Everyone is growing; breakups taught me to be less critical of where people are at and more compassionate.
3. To speak up for my needs. I realized my voice matters, and unmet needs signal when something isn’t right. I can express my needs without the fear of rejection.
4. What I don’t want. Experience revealed the caliber of men I should allow to pursue and the ones to stay away from.
5. Honesty first with myself. Before, I lied to myself about being happy in relationships, which led to pain. Now, I can recognize when a relationship isn’t God’s best.

Breakups lead to blessings because they bring wisdom — the kind that guides, protects, and shapes you. If it weren’t for those breakups, I wouldn’t be the bold woman of God I am today—impacting others through my real-life experiences or showing up as the wife I am now. Every lesson shaped me, and my husband now gets the blessing of a more grounded, mature, and faith-filled woman.

So, to anyone going through a breakup: trust God and look for the blessing. From heartbreak can come growth, clarity, and purpose.

From Breakup…to Blessing.

Reflection:

Breakups are never easy, but they can be blessings in disguise. Each heartbreak teaches us wisdom, grace, and self-awareness, guiding us to make better decisions, honor our worth, and grow closer to God. Trust His process — what feels like an ending can actually be the start of your greatest season