Psalms: Window to Our Souls, Part 2Sample

The psalmist journeys from drowning in his deep sorrow to meditating on how awesome it is that the depth of the waters tremble before the Lord. In verses 1-5, the psalmist tries multiple times to cry out to God and seek Him, but he only becomes more exhausted. The pivot from anguish to praise occurs in verses 6-9 when the psalmist’s spirit makes a “diligent search” and honestly bares his true feelings before the Lord, questioning if God is truly listening to him and if God still loves him. Then after bringing these earnest doubts to God and questioning His nature, the psalmist turns to meditate on the Lord again. This time he seeks the Lord and recounts His wonders––being the Lord over creation, and being mighty in battle as He led the Israelites out of slavery and into the Promised Land.

While it may seem counterintuitive, I have felt God’s presence most strongly after I bring before Him my fears and doubts about His character. While I was in college, I became anxious and burned out, unable to focus on studies for more than a few minutes at a time. I asked God to heal and comfort me several times, but I felt no improvement. I started feeling distant from God, wondering why He wouldn’t help. I had continued to read my Bible and pray daily, but I wasn’t feeling refreshed. I felt so defeated. One Sunday morning before church, I begrudgingly forced myself to do my quiet time at a peaceful spot on the college campus where I had felt God’s presence before. After I had walked all the way to the spot and plopped down my Bible, I tried opening it to read. But I couldn’t focus on any of the words. Exasperated, I lashed out at God, “God, why am I even here? I’ll be honest – I don’t love You. I don’t trust You. And I sure don’t want to go to church.” And I believe I heard Him reply, “Finally, you’re being honest.”

Afterward I walked to church, feeling that God was walking alongside me. I learned to trust that His presence was worth so much. I need to say that my anxiety and burnout remained for all of the years of college, even through graduation. But even now, as I reflect on that day, I experienced the comfort of knowing that I could be so honest with God and that He would meet me even in my doubts. Remembering His faithfulness to me helps me to trust in Him and marvel and wonder at His great works that are recounted in verses 13-20.

Take some time for your spirit to make a diligent search. Are there aspects of God’s goodness and love that you doubt? If so, assure yourself that God will hear you, and honestly bring those doubts to Him. He’s mighty enough to handle them. Regardless of whether this diligent search did or did not bring up any issues, select a passage from verses 13-20 to meditate on for a few minutes.