Growing as an Enneagram Four: The Individualist

Day 3 of 5 • This day’s reading


Being a Space Saver 

Have you ever been running late to an event, and as you parked, you wondered if there would even be a seat for you inside? Would you be sitting alone? Or with someone you don’t know? How would you feel if, instead of having to sit at an empty corner table, a friend waved you over? They saved a seat for you right next to them.

Consideration, a flooding relief, a smile. This is a good feeling, a good moment.

Now, if we can turn this situation into a strictly emotional one, you are halfway to understanding one of the biggest giftings of type Fours—space saving. This isn’t in the literal sense of saving chairs, booths, or theater seats, but Fours provide emotional space for others to process, grieve, and feel what they’re feeling.

Fours bring nonjudgmental space for others to process and explore their own emotions, especially hard ones. Fours aren’t scared of emotional expression, aren’t taken aback that they feel such things, and are emotionally open enough to dive into the depths of feelings with other people. This is a gift. 

One of your friends might be thinking right now, Will there be space for me? Will I be alone? Will I be processing this with a stranger in therapy years from now? It is Fours’ happy place to answer this call. “We have space for you. You don’t need to be alone. I won’t judge or leave you.”

Sometimes people need to vent everything, just to have you digest it and repeat it back to them. Sometimes people need you to ask questions. Sometimes your friend may just need to cry with someone safe. These things show you’re listening and you care. Most likely, you have been this person. 

This is space saving in its simplest and purest form, and although it might not always feel like a gift to you, it’s invaluable to others to have someone there when it really counts. 

Reflect on your last year. Who have you been a space saver for? What are their names? Take a moment, while they’re on your mind, to pray for them. Thank God for sharing His compassionate heart through you.