Day 3: How Is Your Heart Healing from Past Pain?

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”— Psalm 147:3 (NIV)

Many people unknowingly choose their partners based on their unhealed wounds. If you’ve experienced rejection—whether from abandonment, loss, betrayal, criticism, or heartbreak—those wounds shape how you see yourself and how you relate to others.

You may not be able to change your past, but guess what? You can redefine your future.

Think about the Samaritan woman at the well (John 4). She was searching for healing and significance through multiple relationships. Yet, all it took was one authentic encounter with Jesus, and her story changed forever. That tells us something: true healing doesn't come from distractions like relationships, work, entertainment, or even substance use. Healing is not a microwave experience. It is a process.

A key truth I've discovered the hard way is that time does not heal wounds—truth does.

If you don’t address the pain of your past, it will quietly dictate your future. Many marital conflicts are rooted in old wounds rather than the issues on the surface. Ever felt triggered by your spouse’s words or actions? You might be reacting not just to the present moment, but to a painful memory you never truly dealt with.

Healing clears your vision. It allows you to see your partner for who they are, not through the foggy lens of past hurt.

I remember being in a worship session when God took me back to a painful childhood experience. It was something I thought I had moved past; a moment of deep hurt caused by a friend. But in His presence, God revealed the roots of the pain and rejection. And then came the breakthrough: I encountered His love in a way that shattered the power that pain had over me.

That's the kind of healing God wants for you.

A part of your healing process requires surrendering your pain to God. But it also includes practical steps like therapy, reading books that bring insight, surrounding yourself with safe people, and renewing your mind with the truth.

So pause and reflect today. Ask yourself:

•What have I gone through, and how has it shaped me?

•Am I holding onto pain that is bleeding into my marriage?

•Am I willing to surrender my heart to God and allow Him to heal and restore me?

Your emotional health is vital to cleaving fully to your spouse. When you allow God to heal you, you will begin to experience a deeper connection, lasting peace, and real freedom in your marriage.

Scriptures for Reflection:

•Isaiah 53:5

•Psalm 34:18

•John 4