3 Questions Every Son Needs AnsweredSample

Introduction

The heart of a young man is a delicate yet powerful thing. Similar to the tiny seed of a great oak tree, a boy's heart contains everything required to facilitate the growth of a fully mature man. However, how we, as parents, cultivate and nurture that man's growth will influence and guide what kind of a man he becomes. Let's do our best to ensure he becomes the mighty oak in Psalm 1:3, living and thriving in all he does.

In my years of ministry, both with a men's ministry and family ministry here at Family ID, I've found that deep inside the hearts of every son lie fundamental questions rooted in identity that determine whether they will operate from a position of strength or vulnerability.

John Eldredge was a pioneer in this revelation. In his book Wild at Heart, he unravels the need of a young man to have masculinity bestowed upon him by a father or fatherly figure. Eldredge primarily focuses on two questions in young men's hearts, especially around puberty. We'll cover those two questions, for they are present, but we will also discuss the third question.

Inside the heart of every son lie these three questions, whether they express them verbally or not.

1- Am I important to you?

2- Will you fight for me?

3- Do I have what it takes?

We'll unpack these questions individually as we continue through this devotion. Even Jesus, as a man stepping into his calling and ministry, had these questions answered by his Heavenly Father after being baptized in the Jordan River by John. Remember? After he rose from the water and the Holy Spirit descended upon him as a dove, God Himself said, "This is my Son of whom I am well pleased."

If Jesus needed that confirmation at approximately thirty years old, the men in our lives require it all the more.

Men have core needs of Honor and Respect. Emerson Eggerich spends much more time on this in his book Love and Respect, where he talks about the differences between the core needs of men and women. Much of their existence revolves around searching for places of honor and respect. A boy's heart is similar to a man's, only in an undeveloped format. Men of all ages have a tendency to run towards places they feel strong and run away from or remove themselves from areas they feel weak.

This is a fundamental reason why we, as parents, are responsible for creating an environment at home that makes our young men feel strong, capable, and successful. Not out of flattery or false confidence, but to develop, cultivate, and help nurture a thriving, healthy large oak planted by living water and full of strength. Suppose we can help grow a strong identity by confirming and reaffirming our sons by answering these three questions for them. In that case, their self-worth and identity can be rooted in fertile soil, growing a strong and healthy identity.

At Family ID, we have a saying that we use often to communicate the importance of discovering and planting identity in the home.

"Where Family Identity is strong, peer pressure is weak.

But, where Family Identity is weak, peer pressure is strong."

I know your son is one of the most important people in your life. If it weren't for this, you wouldn't be going through this devotional, but let's ensure that your home is a place that facilitates positive answers to the questions he is asking.

Reflection:

How well do you create an environment at home that builds and encourages your son?

Did you realize that your son had questions that would shape his identity and confidence?