No one ever goes from an awesome connected marriage to a marriage in shambles overnight. It happens one step at a time. Bob and Judy were the perfect newlyweds. They did premarital counseling and were committed to each other and their marriage. They enjoyed each other and felt very connected. Things were so good that they began to take their marriage for granted. They thought, “Isn’t this the way marriage is supposed to be?”
The changes in their marriage were little, but over time the little changes began to mount up. They were gradually drifting apart and hardly noticed. Life got busy and there were more distractions. They knew they were supposed to keep working on their marriage but things had been so good that they thought they could coast for a while. It was coasting that got them in trouble.
A few months later Judy’s company hired Tom, a really nice new guy who was single. Judy and Tom began to see each other at the coffee bar in the office. At first, it was by accident but later it was not. Six months later, Bob dropped by Judy’s office to surprise her and take her to lunch. Judy’s assistant told Bob that he just missed her. She already left for lunch. Bob found Judy and Tom engaged in deep conversation over a table at Bob’s favorite restaurant. Actually, it had been his and Judy’s favorite restaurant together for years. This marriage that began so well was now on the brink of ending in shambles. Trust was now broken.
We always need to remember that there is never a time to just “coast” in our marriages. It takes work every day. It takes work by both. Then the killer is that all too often we take trust for granted. We don’t realize how precious it truly is until it is broken, then there are so many pieces scattered everywhere that we don’t even know where to begin. Our lesson is simple but also very complex. If you have trust, don’t do anything that would chip away at it or worse, break it entirely. If the trust in your marriage is on shaky ground, stop everything today and take the first step in rebuilding it. If it has been broken, ask your spouse what do you can do to begin building it again. Don’t let your marriage end in shambles!
Dr. Kim shares that trust is something we often take for granted in a marriage. Think of three reasons trust can create an Awesome Marriage.
1. On a scale of 1-10, 10 being the highest, how much do you trust your spouse? If trust has been broken, what is your first step in rebuilding trust?
2. Affairs happen in baby steps. What are some baby steps that you can avoid?
3. Dr. Kim shares that most affairs have the same pattern, starting with drifting away from your spouse. What can you do this week to stay connected to your spouse?
4. Pray and ask God to give you the wisdom to protect your marriage from infidelity. If infidelity has already taken place, pray and ask God to heal your marriage and rebuild trust. Our God is a God of restoration and no marriage is too far gone to become an awesome one!