Man In CrisisSample

Don't Persecute - Examine Yourself

This scripture verse goes along with the idea of blaming her or turning things back on her. If you are like many men, you are expert at wiggling out of your responsibility.

You remind her of how she doesn’t watch the budget, how she doesn’t maintain the house, how your wife doesn’t want sex, how she is too lenient or too strict on the kids, or any number of things that are irritants to you. You may refrain from doing this in a normal conversation, but when things get heated, they come out.

You think her inability to correct the things that irritate you is a sign of disrespect. So you use these to shoot her down, make her feel guilty so that you can walk off, scot-free. Jesus would never do that. Neither should you.

One of the reasons she is ready to leave is that you never examine yourself. You are always questioning her, sizing her up to your standards, judging her performance. If the same rules applied to your behavior, would you pass the test? If God were to examine your ability to comfort her heart, empathize with her fears, feel her pain, share her worries, and reflect His love to her - could you possibly stand up to that scrutiny?

The standards most men compare themselves to are miserably short of God’s standard. We think if we have provided for our family, spent some time with them, maybe do a date night from time to time, stay away from porn (mostly), go to church, and generally be a good guy, then that’s it. We deserve the ‘great man’ gold star. 

This standard is a description of a weak, selfish man. Certainly not one who deserves any reward. Yay - you reached the level of mediocrity. Pat yourself on the back.

If we want to be great men, we have to turn to God’s standard for greatness, not ours. God invites us to examine ourselves. Here’s how to do it: 

Find Bible Verses About Manhood. What is a man supposed to be? Can you name any Bible verses that say? If not, make this your first assignment. Search the Bible for verses that tell men what their character should be like - especially as it relates to their wives. 

Find Bible Verses About God’s Character. How does He treat us? How does He act? How does He love? Is He compassionate, patient, sensitive, relational? Write down everything you find about how God cares for us.  

Compare Yourself To What You Find. Once you have a list of verses, make a list of character qualities and actions Godly men are supposed to exercise. Then compare yourself to them honestly. Go one step further and have your friends tell you how you compare, or your wife if you dare. 

Challenge: Read and Meditate on Ephesians 5 (concentrate on the instructions to men) along with doing the three things listed above.