Yesterday we discussed Genesis 2:18, that it is not good to be alone. There is a second truth in the scripture also: “I will make him a helper fit for him.” So the real question is this: what do we need help for or from?
We need help to be more like Jesus. Then why do we need a spouse? Why isn’t Jesus all we need? Jesus is all we need for salvation and for spiritual healing, but part of God’s divine plan was to use a spouse to refine us. Consider this truth: “God is always wanting to work something in us and out of us.” He is always wanting to work in humility by working out pride. God is always wanting to work in patience and perseverance by working out selfish ambitions and a controlling spirit.
For God to work in the “fruits of the Spirit,” he has to work out the “fruits of the flesh.” Your spouse is often how God will choose to accomplish this.
That’s right, marriage was designed by God to provide an environment where He could work in you and through you, often more than any other way. Prove it you say? Okay. Think of one single example where a couple loves each other and is impacting the lives of others around them for good … and I promise you, you will find love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control, etc.
Please notice that I caveated my previous statement with “a couple who loves each other and is impacting others.” Unfortunately, we all know at least one couple who is married but miserable. They aren’t walking in love and they aren’t impacting others for good. You want more for your marriage than to just “stick it out.” Besides, God created you and marriage for so much more.
So your husband leaves his dirty socks lying around, or maybe your wife’s car looks like she’s been living out of it. Instead of anger, frustration, and bitterness, let’s focus on patience, grace, and mercy.
Now, I also realize that many of the issues you may be facing are much more grave than dirty socks. Infidelity, abuse, betrayal, or deceit in your marriage may just be scratching the surface. Please hear me, there is HOPE! My wife and I are living proof of what God can do in a marriage when you allow Him to work in you and through you.
Take a few moments and ask God, “What are you trying to work in me and out of me through my spouse?”