Leading With Love and Authority: Balancing Grace and Truth as You Lead Your Children Toward ChristSample

Connection Before Correction

I remember the first Bible study I led over 20 years ago. God stirred me to share His design for family and to point parents to His Word. I wanted the Truth to take root so parents could lead their families with humble confidence.

The Lord led me to 1 Thessalonians for what I hoped our time together would become. Paul’s description of relationship captured my heart. I wanted those coming behind me to see me seeking Jesus, sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly of my own heart and parenting journey. I wanted them to go further, faster—both because of stories of victory and examples of well-intentioned but sometimes misapplied discernment. They needed to know they were not alone in their misses, and that their “wins” were God’s grace alone.

Connection invites transformation. That’s especially true with our children.

Paul’s description of sharing his “whole life” is likened to a nursing mother who offers all of herself for the well-being of her child. Nursing can’t be rushed. It requires closeness. It only happens through connection.

As parents, God entrusts us to be Jesus on display for our children as they grow in their own faith. It’s important to know how to connect, but it’s critical to understand why it matters.

Connection creates belonging. Belonging answers the question, “Who wants me?”

Children must know they are wanted. A child can believe they are loved, yet still not feel wanted. When was the last time you told your child, “I want to be with you because I enjoy you”?

There’s a difference between:

“Do you want to run some errands with me?” and “I need to run some errands, and I’d love for you to come because I enjoy being with you.”

This simple shift in words makes a HUGE impact.

Our children’s truest belonging is ultimately found in God, but they first experience belonging in family. The need for healthy connection is not only vital to family formation, it's essential in shaping hearts and securing our children’s future.

Reflection:

How strong is your relational connection with each of your children right now? What is one intentional step you can take to nurture that bond this week?

Written by Suzanne Phillips