Leading With Love and Authority: Balancing Grace and Truth as You Lead Your Children Toward ChristSample

What is Love?

Years ago, my husband came home from work, sat down across from me, and asked how my day was. Without warning or emotion, I answered, “I don’t think I love you.” There was no marital conflict. Just a raw, honest realization. Imagine the shock. Where did that come from?

I explained. That morning, I had studied 1 Corinthians 13—the “love chapter.” As the words leapt off the page, I began to ask myself some hard questions. The most important was: Do I define love the same way God does?

Verse by verse, I checked my lens of love. Was I loving my family according to God’s Word?

Love is patient and kind.

Was I allowing God to move in His way—or was I letting frustration and impatience take over?

Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.

Was contentment the banner over my life?

Love doesn’t force itself on others.

Ever been rude?

Love doesn’t fly off the handle.

Irritable much?

Love doesn’t keep score of the sins of others.

Resentful? Bitter? Holding onto offense?

Love doesn’t revel when others grovel.

Ever thought, “I told you so”?

Love never looks back.

Am I stuck in regret, loss, or missed opportunities from seasons long gone?

Love keeps going to the end.

Sure, I was in it for the long haul—but was I walking in love along the way?

We know love isn’t just a feeling. But do we really understand what love truly is?

Scripture tells us: “We love because He first loved us.” It is His power in us that makes it possible to love our family His way.

While culture praises “tolerance,” tolerance is no substitute for true love.

We might tolerate opinions or preferences—but never people. God doesn’t just tolerate us. Ever.

He knows us, waits for us, loves us, sacrificed for us.

Love leads, disciplines, speaks life, never gives up.

Lord, give us a longing to love our children—and our spouse—the way You love. And give us the courage, humility, and faith to follow Your example.

Reflection:

Which aspect of God’s definition of love (patient, kind, not self-seeking, etc.) is most challenging for you in parenting? How does that contrast with how culture defines love today?

Written by Suzanne Phillips