Carrying Hope: Encouragement for Men Who Love Someone Struggling With Mental HealthSample

Carrying Hope

After spending nearly a week together through this reading plan, I feel I need to admit something….

I’m a big Lord of the Rings fan. Not dress up in costume and go to the movie theater big, but I’ve read the books, watched the movies multiple times, and like to pull out a LOTR analogy from time to time, so hang with me.

If you’ve never read the book or watched the movie – I definitely think they're worth your time. If you’re a LOTR fan, I think you’ll quickly picture this scene in your mind.

To me, the pinnacle scene in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, both the movies and books, is not when Frodo finally ascends Mount Doom and throws the ring into the fires of Mordor. Instead, it’s a scene shortly before, a few hundred yards down the mountainside, near the end of The Return of the King (book and movie).

It’s the scene where Sam picks up Frodo saying, “I may not be able to carry it (the ring) for you, Mr. Frodo, but I can carry you!” When all hope seems lost, and Frodo collapses, exhausted and overcome by the weight of his burden, it is his faithful companion and friend, Sam, who carries Frodo up the mountain until he has the strength to finish his quest and destroy the ring.

Maybe I emotionally connect with this scene because there have been days I’ve needed to carry hope for Stacee and her recovery journey until she could again hold hope for herself. Mental illness is a hope thief. We often think of depression as sadness, but a better description is the loss of hope. Hopelessness is a scary and dark place, especially when it feels permanent.

Friend, you may not be able to fix your wife's or child’s mental health struggle and pain, but there will be times when you will need to carry hope until they can see and feel and hold it themselves.

To carry hope for them, you first have to hold onto hope yourself. Yes, you need to hold onto the hope of better days for your loved one’s mental health. Even more, though, the hope you need, and they need, is the full confidence and faith of the eternity that awaits those who trust in Jesus.

All other hopes ultimately come to an end, but this hope is permanent – it doesn’t change with circumstances, health or even age. It is rooted in the faithful love of God which is not diminished or dictated by mental health.

It’s the hope proclaimed at the end of Revelation as Jesus’ victory is made complete for each of God’s children: “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. He who is seated on the throne said, ‘I am making everything new!’ Then he said, ‘Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true’” (Revelation 21:4-5, NIV).

As followers of Christ – this is our shared hope. Suffering, not even the suffering of mental illness, can steal this away from you or the one you love! This permanent and eternal hope is your foundation and will sustain you and your loved one through the darkest nights of mental illness and pain.

Hope is a life preserver when your loved one is drowning in the rip current of depression or the wake of trauma. Hope is the fuel for recovery and resilience, empowering you and your loved one to not give up on even the hardest of days and in the most difficult seasons.

My prayer is that our seven days of Scriptures and devotionals, shared together through this reading plan, have put a shot of courage in you, deepened your love and faith, and have equipped you to better carry hope for those you love.

If you have found this reading plan helpful, I invite you to find more of the resources offered through Speak Out Loud at www.speakoutloud.me.The mission of Speak Out Loud is to share hope and encouragement for those who struggle with mental health and for those who love and support them. The Speak Out Loud podcast is available on most podcast platforms and provides a library of content from both our family’s mental illness recovery journey and the experience and knowledge of numerous mental health professionals.

As we conclude this reading plan, let me leave you with the words of Jesus that we shared at the beginning: “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33, NIV). May you overcome as your trust and hope in the Overcomer, my friend!