Brave the Awkward

While most of us readily accept that dating is awkward as can be, we don’t accept that the art of making friends is awkward for ev-er-y-one. Ironically, finding friends as a grownup is a lot like dating in that you need some form of chemistry to form a connection with the other person, even if that chemistry and connection look and feel differently. Instead, we believe other women must’ve figured out how to get around the awkward factor, easily laughing and skipping to their girlfriend coffee dates and dinner drinks by bibbidi-bobbidi-booing their way to that connection.

No one gets to enjoy the deep waters of a friendship without first wading through the awkward waters.

The good news is that the more you practice pushing through the awkward, the less the awkwardness will bother you. Oh, I’m not saying it’ll completely go away. I’ve been intentionally pursuing friendships for more than thirty years now, and the endeavor still carries awkward moments. But that doesn’t bother me today like it used to.

Sure, someone likely did view some of my words and actions as annoying, awkward, or off-putting and therefore decided I wasn’t worth their time or investment. But I’ve truly come to see that as okay. If someone doesn’t want to be around me, they’re not God’s best for me (and vice versa).

While not every awkward introduction will lead to a friendship that sticks, every friendship that sticks includes awkward components. It’s simply the quirky scenery we encounter on the path traveled from acquaintance to familiar friends. We just need to accept that (and get over ourselves enough) to believe it’s worth experiencing along the way.

With practice, we’ll see how the awkward factor is like hearing someone else’s kid throw a fit in church: It’s something you can’t necessarily ignore but it doesn’t really bother you.

If you sense the Holy Spirit nudging you toward a potential friend, don’t let the awkward factor stop you. Introduce yourself and extend an invitation her way. And if you get together and find yourself displaying awkward behavior, take heart: You get an A for awkward in my book, and you might find that invitation leads to an awesome friendship.

Pray:

Father God, I want to listen to and follow your leading. Help me to brave the awkward waters to get to the deep, real connections you have for me.