From Victim to Victory

When I was first married and freshly moved to a new town, I reasoned that since God surely wanted me to have friends, he would bring them my way. Therefore, I was officially off the hook from doing anything else to actively pursue friendships myself.

Well, that didn’t work. And I developed the biggest victim mentality east of the Mississippi, one that coughed up excuse after excuse for why I couldn’t make a connection with anyone.

I can’t find friends here because the people aren’t as friendly.

I can’t find friends here because of the long winters, and everyone stays inside.

I can’t find friends here because people already have their people.

I can’t find friends here because no one asks me questions about myself.

I can’t find friends here because there’s something wrong with me.

That year taught me so much about how to accept my circumstances rather than react to them, to keep trying again instead of allowing rejection to coerce me into a victim mentality. That is easier to do if you don’t let the Devil persuade you that you’re the only one going through friendship foibles.

God wants you to have your friends—it’s His will for you.

Real life isn’t a sitcom where we simply wait for friends to magically show up. Instead, we get out and about in an effort to cross paths with folks, in an effort to get to know folks.

You aren’t unfriendable. You’re just becoming more closely acquainted with the fact that this business of finding friends is hard. The only thing that makes you unfriendable is never putting yourself out there again, and we need you too much for that nonsense.

Victim may have been a chapter or three in your story in trying to find your people, but it doesn’t have to be the final chapter. It doesn’t have to define the narrative.

Keep at it, and victory will be yours.

I’m cheering you on all along the way.

Pray:

God, please show me anywhere I’m hanging on to excuses for why I can’t make friends. Please me how to let the victim mindset go and walk toward victory in my relationships.