Dealing with Doubt

As I enter this time of prayer, I repeat the words of Psalm 3:2–3, slowly, several times, making them my prayer to God:

‘Many are saying of me, “God will not deliver him.”

But you, LORD, are a shield around me, my glory,

the One who lifts my head high.’

Pause and repeat

‘Many of [Jesus’] disciples withdrew and no longer followed him. So Jesus said to the twelve, “And are you too wanting to go away?” “Lord,” answered Simon Peter, “who else should we go to? Your words have the ring of eternal life! And we believe and are convinced that you are the Holy One of God”’ (John 6:66–69 PHILLIPS).

Pete writes, ‘One morning, I asked Sammy if she ever doubted God’s existence or His power to intervene. She was back in hospital after a particularly vicious epileptic attack. It was really more of a confession on my part than a question for her. But without hesitation, Sammy replied, “No! I never doubt God these days, Pete.” Pausing, she examined my face with a mixture of affection and reproach. “How can I doubt God?” she continued more softly. “God is all I’ve got!”’*

What doubts do I experience? Is there anything that holds me back from admitting them to myself, to God, or to someone I trust?

Pause and reflect

‘I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!’ (Mark 9:24). I don’t understand why You don’t answer my prayers, but I’d rather wrestle with doubt, than resign myself to despair. I choose to walk through this with You rather than without You. I choose to believe that my struggles matter and that eternal life awaits.

Pause and pray

As I bring this time with God to a close, I pray a prayer for a new heart by St. Ambrose of Milan (AD 337–397):

‘O Lord, who has mercy upon all, take away from me my sins, and mercifully kindle in me the fire of Your Holy Spirit. Take away from me the heart of stone, and give me a heart of flesh, a heart to love and adore You, a heart to delight in You, to follow, and to enjoy You, for Christ’s sake.’

Amen.

* Pete Greig, God on Mute, David C Cook, (Colorado Springs, 2020), p55