“But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much, that even when we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!)” - Ephesians 2:4-5
There have been a few times in my life when I have felt totally and entirely numb. Whether is was something terrible I had done or something terrible that had been done to me, I have been so broken that I have felt nothing.
I remember sitting in chapel during my senior year of High School and the speaker asked us to anonymously write down our dead honest feeling at that time. I had never had anyone ask me to write down my honest feelings about something. I had always felt that people viewed me as that fun-loving girl and only wanted me to report joy and happiness. It was a room full of girls, so I hid my card and discreetly wrote “numb” on it. We all folded our cards and passed them up front. The speaker pulled out a few and listed them off, “stressed”, “excited”…. “numb” and the room went silent. Or maybe it was just the sound of holding my breath and my blank brain frozen in fear. I thought everyone could see it was me. She wanted to prove the point that we all are human, we all feel painful emotions and God is not daunted by our darkness.
Admitting my numbness was the first step for me in voicing my need for God and my need for something better.
God’s presence in our lives is one that is so strong, so vibrant, and so loving that it de-thaws our frozen hearts, heals us, and brings our senses back. It is not instantaneous but He is always moving in our lives. His heart is to revive us.
The song “Holy Water” is a celebration of feeling alive again. ‘When we were dead in our sins, He gave us life!’ ‘Like sweet, sweet honey on my lips, like the sound of a symphony to my ears, like Holy Water on my skin.’
Whether you feel numb, sad angry, hurt or alive, joyful and free, God’s heart for you is to revive you. He will finish the good work that He started in your heart. Admit your honest feelings and brokenness to Him and that will clear the way for you to realize His revival at work in your life. He will take care of you. He forgives you, He cares deeply for you and He unconditionally loves you.