Keep Calm and Marry On


Homemaker or Homebreaker: A Wife's Role

In Titus 2, the apostle Paul expounded on the role of wives in the marriage relationship: they are "to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed" (vv. 4-5). Let's look more closely at those directives.

To start with, the word Paul used for love comes from the Greek phileó, a term of affection and friendship. In other words, ladies, delight in the time you spend with your husband. Your bitterness can cause him to wither, but your affectionate love will cause him to blossom. What begins with love continues with being discreet, which simply means to be wise or to use common sense, and being chaste, which indicates you're a woman of pure intentions.

A wife is also to be obedient to her husband, or submissive, as we've already seen. Think of this like two lanes of traffic merging: to prevent a crash, one car is simply going to have to get behind another one. In the same way, you're going to have to choose to get behind your husband and support his decisions, even if you think he's wrong. He will answer for those decisions, right or wrong, and you will answer for your submission.

Maybe you're thinking, Well, I'm kind of into the dual-headship thing. You know what has two heads? A monster. So if you don't want your marriage looking like a horror film, remember this: Christ submits to God the Father, your husband is to submit to Christ, and you are to submit to your husband. That will make things flow smoothly so your relationship can flourish.

Let's go back to a word from Titus 2 I intentionally skipped over: homemaker. To be a homemaker is actually the farthest thing you can imagine from being barefoot and pregnant. It doesn't mean the home is to be your dwelling place 24/7, your prison. Rather, the home is to be your priority.

In the Greek, a homemaker refers to the keeper of the house, a particular job that's much greater than all the tasks and events that comprise it. Being a homemaker has real value and power. And it's God's design for a wife, so that she might bring His light and life into her home.

In an age where women are gaining recognition for all the wonderful different things they can do, the role of wife, mother, and homemaker is in peril of being diminished completely. A woman has more opportunities and capacities than ever in which to use her God-given talents, but could there ever be a more meaningful application of those gifts than to bless her husband and children and in turn be blessed by them, truly making her home a shining city on a hill?

Tip #8: Don't forget to thank your spouse for the little things. Did your husband mow the lawn? Did your wife sew a button on your shirt? Be grateful. And when your spouse expresses appreciation, respond warmly. Paul wrote, "Let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful" (Colossians 3:15).