How could she let her wear that? Why would he let him watch that? She said what to you? What was he thinking?
These are some of the questions that might go through your mind or you may verbalize as you co-parent. Wanting to control the other home is a feeling that many of us experience at some point. Wondering if the other parent is making the best parental decision for the child is a concern that we may all face.
Although we love our children and want the best for them, we sometimes assume that we are the only ones that can provide 'THE BEST'.
"I wouldn't let them (insert your thoughts here)," and this is what makes us a seemingly better parent than the other.
If we are being honest with ourselves, we will realize this need for control, or even self-proclaimed perfection in parenting. is rooted in fear.
Let’s process this a little more. Ask yourself, "the last time I wanted to control a situation, what fear could have been present?" For example, when I kept texting my ex-husband asking him a million questions during his visit, why did I feel the need to do that? The answer, because I was worried that he would overlook something important like his homework, medication, etc. So rather than operating from a place of peace, I chose to operate in fear and that is destructive to the co-parenting relationship.
So, how do I handle this control rooted in fear? Jesus said to cast our cares on HIM for he cares about us. (1 Peter 5:7) So for me it looked like remembering that God loves my son and He will be protecting him. I had to stop those negative thoughts that filled my mind with fear because the word says that God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power, love, and a sound mind. I chose to use that power by praying over my son daily. I became more aware of what I was thinking about and started “controlling” my thought life according to Philippians 4:8. It took some time, but I stopped worrying about my son when he was with his dad because I knew God would take care of him.
Today I pray in Jesus name that God will show you where fear has you bound. I pray for freedom over you in Jesus’ name. Amen!
Today's devotional was written by Esther Hutchison