Have you ever tossed a handful of Coffee-Mate nondairy creamer on a fire? It flares up nicely like you’ve got some magic dust or powder in your hands! This will open a talk about how we have the power in our hands to make the tension or fire between us and other family members flare up—or die down. We’ll have an emphasis on talking kindly to one another.

On Your Own

Things You’ll Need

•Safety glasses for each of the kids—­and yourself

•Coffee-­Mate powdered nondairy creamer

•Access to an outdoor campfire or fire pit. If you don’t have one, you probably have friends who do. They’ll probably even build a fire for you! State parks make another great option.

•Wood for the fire. If using scraps or cutoffs, ensure no paint or varnish is on them. And definitely avoid pressure-­treated wood (the green stuff often used outdoors). You don’t want any toxins in the smoke.

•Bucket filled with water

•Disposable cup for each of the kids

Advance Prep

Remember, this is an outdoor activity. Don’t use an indoor fireplace for this. You’ll be pouring Coffee-­Mate onto a fire, which will cause a dramatic flare-­up of flame.

You’ll want to test this before doing it with the kids. Not that it is difficult, but if you do it once, you’ll know what to expect and can make important adjustments, such as knowing how far your kids should stand from the flame when pouring the Coffee-­Mate, how much to pour at a time, and how high the Coffee-­Mate container should be held over the fire when pouring. I’ll tell you this: you want to keep a good distance between the fire and the Coffee-­Mate. Hold that container high. The powder will cause the fire to flare dramatically, so if your hand is too close, you may singe some hair.

With the Kids

Running the Activity

1. Ideally, build your fire twenty or thirty minutes before you plan to have the devotional. You want that fire to be well established, so it has really taken hold of the wood burning there.

2. Once you have a good fire, get the kids together and have them put on safety glasses. Whenever you have your kids put on safety glasses, you’re likely to get them to listen better. They get the idea that they’re about to do something dangerous or that shouldn’t be done.

3. Have them shake some Coffee-­Mate on the fire. Keep a safe distance. Remember, you don’t want them shaking out the powder with their hand close to the fire. The flames will surge right up and give them a high five. They’ll drop the container of Coffee-­Mate on the fire—­and you may find yourself teaching an entirely different lesson.

4. The fire should flare up, even burning the powder still in the air. I’d let each kid get a chance to pour a little Coffee-­Mate if they’d like to.

Now, you may have kids who want to do this over and over. I’d suggest you tell them they can have more turns—­after the lesson. If they spend too much time playing with the fire ahead of your teaching time, they may begin to lose interest sooner than you’d like.

Teaching the Lesson

The things we did with the fire are like life in some ways. When we are with family or friends, things we say or do can either stir up flames of tension or conflict or calm things down.

Let’s brainstorm. What kinds of things can we do to family or friends that can stir up conflict, anger, or tension between us?

When we know someone well, we know where their “buttons” or “bruises” are. We know those areas they’re extra sensitive about, and if we bring up those issues, we’re likely to see them react in not-­so-­good ways. Sometimes we press on those places because we want to make them squirm a bit, right?

We’ve brainstormed ways to provoke anger or conflict with family or friends. How many of those ways have to do with the things we say to them or about them?

•Often, we stir up old issues, fuel the fire, and sometimes grind our knuckles in the bruise. Like when we used the Coffee-­Mate, something we say or do can cause an instant flare-­up of anger. Instead of calming conflict between us and others, we stir it up.

•Is that who we really want to be? Is that who God wants us to be? I don’t think so.

For as churning cream produces butter,

and as twisting the nose produces blood,

so stirring up anger produces strife. (Prov. 30:33 NIV)

•This verse makes some obvious statements. Churning butter makes cream. Wringing someone’s nose is going to result in blood. And, just as true, when we press each other’s buttons and poke those bruises—­those sensitive areas—­we’re going to cause problems for them and us.

The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. (James 3:6 NIV)

The things we say to and about others can do tremendous damage to them ­and our relationship with them. Is that what we want?

Summing It Up

Let’s each take a cup, fill it with water, and splash it on the base of the fire. We have the power to keep a fire of conflict going with others—­or make it die out.

A gentle answer turns away wrath,

but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Prov. 15:1 NIV)

This great verse often gives us the secret to calming a fire down.

•We can do so when we talk nicely and consider another’s feelings.

•We can also do so when we don’t raise our voices and argue. When we resist this urge, we often avoid the anger and conflict we would’ve caused otherwise.

Let’s work on that as a family: to be more thoughtful and nicer in how we talk to each other. And let’s see if that doesn’t make our home life that much better, okay?

Instead of tossing fuel on the fire, let’s use our words and tone (how we say things) to put out the flames that hurt others and ourselves.

If you are Interested In doing more devotions like this with your family, youth group, or Sunday school, read The Very Best, Hands-On, Kinda Dangerous Family Devotions, Volume 2 by Tim Shoemaker.