Unstuck: The Crucible ProjectSample

Why We Stay Stuck

In our organization, Crucible Project, we observe that for many people, staying stuck appears to cost less than taking the risk to move forward. Even though we say we want something better for ourselves, if we move out of our stuck state, we fear the risk of what else might happen.

For example, if I change my eating habits, I might never have the joy I know I could have from my favorite foods. Or worse, I might make the uncomfortable sacrifices—do everything right—and still not lose the inches that will allow me to wear the smaller-sized clothes I want. Or maybe if I have the hard conversation I need to have with my spouse, it leads to a prolonged argument and more discord, not less. Or worse, it might just push them away completely, and they finally reach out to that divorce attorney they threatened to call.

We also have observed that part of the reason we stay stuck is that we have ingrained patterns of dealing with stuck situations. Early in life, we reacted to a stuck place with something that worked for us—kept us safe—and it temporarily relieved the tough emotions. Because it worked, we do it again. Now it feels like an automatic pattern that “just happens”; it’s part of who we are. How could we possibly give that up?

The poet and philosopher Emily Maroutian puts the problem this way: “You’re not stuck. You’re just committed to certain patterns of behavior because they helped you in the past. Now those behaviors have become more harmful than helpful. The reason why you can’t move forward is that you keep applying an old formula to a new level in your life. Change the formula to get a different result.”

Sometimes, when we are stuck, we need a chain to help pull us free.

Today’s verses anchor us to the hope God offers to help us move forward.

Challenge: What is your life chained to?