Treasure Hidden in Dark Places

**Notice: This content includes sensitive themes that some readers may find difficult: Mentions of miscarriage, infertility, or longing for children.. Please take care as you read.

After experiencing eight miscarriages, I was troubled by the question, Is God really good? I stood at a crossroads in my life. Would I allow the unanswered “why” to become a wall between me and God? Would a sense of entitlement spring forth, pleading the case that I don’t deserve this trial?

Or perhaps I’d allow God to escort me through this season with an immovable resolve, knowing that he is still good and I am deeply cherished by him. Even if I never understand why, I refuse to slow my pace with him. Perhaps I’d learn what it means to count it all joy (James 1:2–4).

As I allowed the Lord to tightly hold my grieving heart, I found the courage to search for the treasure hidden in dark places. I felt faith arise as I took the stance of a warrior momma who would contend for her promise. God gave me permission to prepare for what had not yet come and to say to my future child, “Oh, I can’t wait to celebrate the day of your safe and healthy arrival!”

It was mandatory that I surrender all—my thoughts, guilt, shame, unforgiveness, anger—and let God’s word of instruction shield me from the Enemy’s poisonous darts. I vowed that the devil would have to sit and listen to me worship my Lord, clapping and dancing in the midst of this difficulty. My worship, despite it all, finalized his utter defeat.

Praise be to my majestic king full of mercy and extravagant grace. My husband and I were blessed with two very active boys. We praise the Lord for these two gifts! Like Job, I now declare that I love the Lord more after going through the storm (Job 42:5).

Life may not make much sense right now, but God is with you and will show you things you’d never learn on a mountaintop. He will strengthen and restore, release healing, and correct crooked perspectives. Don’t miss the spiritual anointing that comes with the testing of our faith. It is difficult yet necessary for spiritual growth.

Father, thank you for drawing near to me in dark places. Teach me to count it all joy, no matter what I go through. I surrender my emotions and my desire to understand why, knowing that you are still good. I reject the lies of the Enemy, and I trust that you will fulfill all your promises. Amen.

May I press through every storm and let God display his glory in and through me.