The Way of Wisdom: A Study of the Book of ProverbsSample

(This day of study was written by Adrienne Camp.)

Drawing from the profound insights in Proverbs, we discover that walking the way of wisdom in our relationships calls for pursuing and learning the value of unity and togetherness. Conflict can often be the default in our relationships. After all, we’re imperfect humans sharing space with other imperfect humans. But God calls us to a better way—an attainable way of collaboration and selflessness!

Before you read on, consider two ends of the conflict spectrum in your life:

• How do you think the people in your life experience you in conflict? Before you answer this question, pause and ask God to reveal your blind spots.
• On the other hand, what traits are essential if you desire to pursue collaboration or reconciliation with others?

Proverbs teaches us that shifting from a spirit of conflict to one of collaboration in our homes and family relationships requires humility, tenderness, and patience. By applying biblical principles, we can nurture reconciliation, build trust, and forge lasting relationships that honor both individual perspectives and collective goals.

One of the most profound things the Holy Spirit taught me early on in my marriage—which can be applied to any relationship in my family—is the importance of realizing my husband and I are on the same team. Too often, we get a “me versus them” mentality that opposes the unity God calls us to. When we have this mindset, we can’t help but default to a self-preservation mode that breeds pride and usually hostility. But what does a “same team” mindset look like in action?

Philippians 2:5 tells us to “have the same mindset as Christ Jesus” (NIV). A mindset is a set of attitudes that shapes our behaviors and interactions and reveals how we view challenges and growth. Having the same mindset as Jesus isn’t just about outwardly acting like we think Christians are supposed to act. Its aim is for our inner character to become the same as Jesus’s, which Scripture tells us is marked by love and humility. The way of wisdom will always look like Jesus.

The mind of the righteous person thinks before answering,
but the mouth of the wicked blurts out evil things.

Proverbs 15:28

A person’s insight gives him patience,
and his virtue is to overlook an offense.

Proverbs 19:11

The patience, humility, and selfless love that Jesus modeled for us are affirmed in these proverbs. Wisdom is crucial in how we live and interact with each other. When we remember how we have been loved by Jesus, we are more likely to pursue unity through selflessness—and He empowers us to do so!

All our relationships are opportunities to glorify God, whether the other person sees them that way or not. When the “same team” mindset is embraced, tension and conflict can be approached as ways to grow together toward Christlikeness instead of an argument to be won. Also, for our relationships with family members who don’t know Jesus, these moments are chances to display His love and humility in a way that draws others to Him.

Jesus is the mediator who reconciles humankind to God and each other. Reflecting on Proverbs 24:3-4, one Bible commentator notes, “If there is a lack of harmony in your home, it’s because there is a problem with Jesus.”6 Perhaps this sounds harsh, but the truth is, we are far more likely to be in alignment with others when we put Jesus first and are in alignment with Him. How you cultivate intimacy in your heart and home won’t just happen by chance. When we put aside our pride and bring the Spirit into our conflict with a willingness to be shaped by Him, we will find ourselves resting in the rhythms of His love and mercy.