Acts 15:22-41 | Church HurtSample

If you’re going to be a part of the body of Christ, church hurt is inevitable. Let’s finish this week by recapping what to do when you experience it.

1. Embrace that it’s inevitable. Church hurt is inevitable. Don’t delude yourself into thinking that it can be avoided. It’s how you handle it that matters. Like relationships, disagreement with other people in a church is inevitable. Don’t be afraid of it. Learn how to deal with it in healthy ways when it comes. Turn the other cheek. Seek to reconcile. Practice Matthew 18 and Colossians 3. This will be the biggest testimony to the world.
2. Process it. When church hurt happens, we want to get over it, but that doesn't always come easy. Healing is a process. And ironically what the church is for – to help people heal, regain perspective, and get challenged against their own self-righteousness in the process. Take time in prayer. Work with your pastor or elders. Work through the pain. Practice forgiveness daily until it sticks.
3. Examine where you’re the cause of it. Those who berate church drama are often the greatest cause of it. If you say that you don’t like drama, take a hard look at where you create, instigate, or propagate it. It’s just possible that part of the issue lies with you. As Jesus said, first pay attention to the log in your own eye before looking at the speck in your brother’s. Be quick to apologize, quick to repent, and quick to reach out if you fear you’ve offended. Humble yourself. God will lift you up in due time.
4. Get over it. This sounds harsh, but is sometimes the single biggest truth. People who can’t get over a past slight or wound are forever plagued by anger and hurt. Let it go. You can dwell in the misery of injustice and unforgiveness, or get on with it. Easier said than done, to be sure. But there’s an attitudinal shift that’s important. You’re not strong enough to carry every hurt. Imagine if others did the same with the hurts you inflict. The way of Christ is the way of resiliency that is no longer destroyed by every careless wound or obsessed with some personal entitlement.
5. When there’s clear wrong, confront it. Again, Matthew 18 gives a template for how to do this. In the harsher examples we mentioned earlier in this plan, bring the darkness into the light.
6. Part ways. That’s what Paul and Barnabas did. It’s never the first choice, and should only come after all other options are expended. But as Jesus said, new wine bursts old wineskins. Sometimes there will come a point and be a certain incompatibility that make it better to go separate ways. Sometimes there comes a point to find a new church.
   
   If you find yourself coming to that time and place, do so slowly, deliberately, and intentionally. Not in anger, self-righteousness, or in a huff. Go with grace, peace, and blessing. Don’t just disappear. Let your pastor know. Let those you are in relationships know too. Because no matter what local church you belong to, these people are still your brothers and sisters in Christ. You are still part of one body.
   
   That’s what Paul did. Here’s what he says at the end of his life while in a Roman prison: “My fellow prisoner Aristarchus sends you his greetings, as does Mark, the cousin of Barnabas. (You have received instructions about him; if he comes to you, welcome him.)” – Colossians 4:10.
   
   Paul, Barnabas, and Mark may have gone their separate ways, but they remained brothers – serving each other, loving each other, and lifting each other up. It will still hurt, but it will be a hurt that fosters healing.

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