Satan, You Can’t Rule My EmotionsSample

Three Ways That We Wound Ourselves

Sometimes, the deepest wounds we carry are self-inflicted.

Through unchecked emotions like resentment, bitterness, or an unhealthy focus on self-defense, we can sabotage our own spiritual and emotional well-being. Recognizing these harmful patterns is essential to breaking free and allowing God’s truth and grace to heal and transform us from the inside out.

Way #1: We wound ourselves when we allow resentment to build up and hide it within.

Resentment can linger in the mind because of something a parent did in the past. Whether we realize it or not, that resentment shows up. In fact, it affects the way we treat our own children.

“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.” —Ephesians 4:22–25, NIV

Way #2: We can wound ourselves by allowing bitterness to take root and abide in us.

Bitterness is related to resentment, but it’s not the same. Think of bitterness as something that ingrains itself deeper within. It is more intense than resentment because it goes deep and lasts for a very long time. It is stronger and more permanent than resentment. The Bible has a lot to say about bitterness. (See Hebrews 12:15; Colossians 3:19; James 3:14; Ephesians 4:31). The Bible gives so many warnings against bitterness because it can have such a lasting, harmful effect on anyone who allows it in his life.

Way #3: We can wound ourselves by always defending our own rights.

While standing up for ourselves is important, an excessive focus on defending our rights can lead to unintended harm—particularly to our own hearts. Hypervigilance in protecting personal rights can foster a mindset of retaliation, bitterness, and self-centeredness. Proverbs 18:14 reminds us of the fragile nature of our inner being: “The spirit of a man sustains him in sickness, but as for a broken spirit, who can bear it?”

While a strong spirit can sustain a person through trials, a broken spirit is unbearable. When we constantly guard our rights, we risk becoming consumed by offense and unable to let go of grievances. This attitude not only strains relationships but also erodes our inner peace, leaving us spiritually and emotionally drained. A heart that is always on guard to retaliate for perceived wrongs will struggle to embrace the grace and forgiveness that Christ calls us to embody.

Instead of living defensively, we can trust God as our ultimate defender. When we surrender our rights to Him, we free ourselves from the heavy burden of self-justification. By releasing offenses to God, we allow Him to work on our behalf, heal our hearts, and bring justice in His perfect timing. This shift from retaliation to reliance on God nurtures a whole, peaceful spirit capable of enduring life’s challenges with grace and strength.

Healing emotional wounds is not a passive process; it requires yielding to God’s transformative power and embracing His plan for restoration.

By allowing old patterns of bitterness, resentment, and self-defense to die, we can walk in the fullness of life Christ offers. In doing so, we reflect His love and become agents of healing for a hurting world. God’s ways may be challenging to grasp, but they always lead to abundant life. Surrendering to His design brings new fruit in our lives—a legacy of healing, forgiveness, and reconciliation.

Want to read more? Check out Iris Delgado’s new book, “Satan, You Can’t Rule My Emotions,” available where books are sold.