Forgiveness in Dating: The Hardest and Purest Form of LoveSample

Day 4: Address the Hurt Openly and Honestly

True forgiveness begins with honest communication. When someone has hurt you, it’s important to share how you feel and what you need for healing — not to shame or blame but to foster understanding and rebuild trust.

It’s not easy. Vulnerability can feel uncomfortable, and sometimes it’s tempting to avoid the conversation altogether. But in a dating relationship, open and honest communication builds the foundation for a deeper connection. Pretending something didn’t bother you or trying to “get over it” on your own doesn’t solve anything. The hurt can linger, and over time, it can create emotional walls between you and your partner.

Start by prayerfully asking God for the courage and wisdom to express yourself in a way that honors Him. Think about what you want to say before you speak, and approach the conversation with a calm and open heart. Instead of accusing or pointing fingers, use “I” statements to explain how you feel. For example, say, “I felt hurt when…” rather than “You always…” This approach helps keep the discussion constructive rather than turning it into a list of complaints.

When you share your feelings, give the other person space to listen and respond. Healthy communication is a two-way street, and it requires both speaking and listening. Be willing to hear their perspective, even if it’s hard to hear at first. They might explain their actions in a way you didn’t expect or realize they weren’t even aware of how their words or actions affected you.

James 1:19 is invaluable wisdom for moments like these. It calls us to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. That kind of patience and grace allows room for understanding and healing to flourish. When both people in the relationship feel heard and respected, forgiveness becomes easier to give and receive.

Honest communication also means being clear about what healing looks like for you. If boundaries need to be set to rebuild trust, share that. If you need time to process, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Forgiveness isn’t about brushing aside your emotions; it’s about addressing them in a way that brings peace and restoration.

Remember, Jesus is our perfect example of truth and grace. He always spoke with love, even when addressing difficult topics. He saw the person, not just their mistakes, and He called them toward what was good. With His help, you can approach your relationship with that same balance. Speak the truth in love, listen with grace, and trust that God will guide you toward healing and understanding.