Forgiveness in Dating: The Hardest and Purest Form of LoveSample

Day 3: It’s a Process, Not an Instant Fix

Forgiveness is rarely a one-time decision or a single moment of clarity. If you’ve been deeply hurt, the idea of instantly forgiving someone may feel impossible. And you know what? That’s okay. Forgiveness isn’t about rushing your healing or forcing your heart to feel something it’s not ready to feel. Instead, it’s a process — a step-by-step surrender that takes time, patience, and God’s grace.

Maybe you’ve tried to forgive someone, but the pain still lingers. Every time you see them, the memory of what happened resurfaces. Or perhaps you even doubt yourself, wondering, If I still feel hurt, does that mean I didn’t forgive? The truth is that forgiveness is less about a magical moment when everything feels fine again and more about an ongoing commitment to release the hurt every time it reappears.

Start where you are. Bring your pain to God, honestly. He’s not expecting you to “have it all together” and move on overnight. He fully understands the depth of your hurt, and He invites you to trust Him with it. Ask Him to help you release the hurt — bit by bit, day by day. Healing isn’t linear. Some days, you’ll feel like you’re making progress and other days, the pain might hit you all over again. That’s why forgiveness is more of a process than a checklist item. Over time, as you keep surrendering it to God, you’ll feel your heart soften little by little.

Think of forgiveness like running a race. It starts with one step, then another, then another. You may not feel closer to the finish line at first, but as you keep pressing forward, you grow stronger. Each prayer you say, each moment you choose to release bitterness, is another step in that race. And with every step, God is right there beside you, giving you the strength to keep going.

What’s important to remember is that forgiveness doesn’t erase the reality of what happened. It doesn’t mean pretending there was no hurt or pain. Instead, it’s about handing the situation to God and trusting Him to handle the justice, healing, and redemption in His way and His time.

If your heart feels hardened right now, know that God is patient. He’s rich in love, just as Psalm 145 says. He will help you, softening the areas where bitterness has taken root and replacing it with His peace. Lean into Him, even when it’s hard. Forgiveness doesn’t need to happen instantly, but with God’s help, it can happen faithfully. Step by step, He’ll guide your heart toward healing. And as you walk in forgiveness, you’ll begin to feel the freedom that only His grace can bring.