Red Flags vs. Real Love: Discernment in DatingSample

Day 2: Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Words can be powerful, but they’re also easy to say. Promises can roll off the tongue, but if they’re not backed up by actions, they begin to lose their meaning. When it comes to love, God calls us to look for something more profound than just sweet words. Real love isn’t just spoken; it’s shown consistently through actions that reflect His character.

It’s easy to get swept off your feet by someone’s kind words or grand promises, especially in the early stages of a relationship. Compliments, affection, and big declarations can feel wonderful, but what happens if their actions don’t match? Pay attention. The truth is that how someone treats you in everyday moments — their consistency, care, and respect — tells you so much more about their heart than their words alone.

Look at Christ as the perfect example of love in action. He didn’t just tell us He loves us. He showed it in the most selfless way imaginable — by laying down His life for us. Real love is patient, sacrificial, and kind, as described in 1 Corinthians 13. It’s not just about saying, “I care about you,” but living that out daily. Does the person you’re dating make an effort to serve and support you? Do their actions reflect patience, kindness, and humility?

On the flip side, it’s important to be honest with yourself. Have you been making excuses for someone who says all the right things but falls short when it comes to following through? Maybe they claim to respect you but repeatedly disregard your boundaries. Perhaps they promise to make time for you yet consistently fail to show up. Real love requires accountability, and if there’s a pattern of broken promises or inconsistency, it’s worth re-evaluating.

Remember what Jesus said in Matthew 7:20: “By their fruit you will recognize them.” The fruit of someone’s actions reveals what’s truly in their heart. If those actions consistently reflect love, patience, and selflessness, that’s a sign of healthy love. But if you’re seeing selfishness, dishonesty, or neglect, it may be time to step back and seek God’s guidance.

You deserve a relationship characterized by steady, faithful love — the kind that mirrors God’s love for you. Don’t settle for words alone. Ask God to give you discernment to see beyond surface-level promises. Trust Him to help you recognize love that’s not just spoken but actively demonstrated in all the little and big ways.