Broken Pieces: Repairing the Damage of InfidelitySample

It’s the third day and that means a lot. First of all, thank you for staying with it so far. I can only imagine the tricks and schemes the devil has tried to use these past couple of days to distract you and entice you to give up. Secondly, the third day is symbolic because Jesus Christ rose on the third day, giving us the victory over sin and death through His resurrection. Since we were bought with a price, we now have access to the rights and benefits of the gift of salvation and eternal life through the finished work of Jesus on the cross. Hallelujah! There is nothing we could have done to earn this free gift of salvation. By grace, we can only receive it by faith. But there is still more work to be done as we work out our own salvation with fear and trembling. (Philippians 2:12)

Day three is going to get a little uncomfortable. Today I want you to look at your marriage from your wife’s point of view. Walk in her shoes for a moment. Imagine the pain, agony, embarrassment, resentment, bitterness, disgust, low self-esteem or lack of self-worth she may be dealing with because of the choice you made to be unfaithful to her. Sit there for a moment. Feel her pain. Fathom her struggle with the decision to leave or to stay. This won’t be easy so don’t be selfish and dismiss her feelings or expect her to just get over it because you asked God to forgive you. Yes, God is merciful and He is faithful and just to forgive us of our sin when we repent but the repercussions and consequences of our sinful actions still have lasting effects on our wives. Take some time to view your marriage from her vantage point. Her heart is broken. There was a lot of damage done. She probably feels inadequate, unattractive and confused to say the least. She has a lot of unanswered questions. So many things to process, analyze and address before there could ever be a sense of reconciliation or renewal between you two and that is something you have to accept and ask God for the patience to prepare for.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of men whose wives choose to call it quits and walk away from the marriage because of the infidelity and I sympathize with those men. There are others whose spouses were willing to stay in the marriage because they have hope that things can turn around for the better. I could’ve easily been in the first group but only by the grace of God, my wife chose to stay in the fight and I am eternally grateful. For those of you like me who were given a second chance, consider it a blessing and a gift from God. Now it’s time to rebuild trust with your bride. Over the next few days, I will give you some practical tips and recommendations on how to do just that: rebuild.

NEXT STEPS: Give your wife full access to your cell phone, tablet, laptop, computer, everything. Give her the passwords to your email, social media and bank accounts. Cut off all access from your past affairs and previous lovers. Burn all boats and bridges, getting rid of memorabilia such as text messages, emails, photos, videos, gifts, etc. Block them on social media, block their phone numbers, email addresses and other contact info. This should be done intentionally and without hesitation. You owe it to your wife and your marriage!