Broken Pieces: Repairing the Damage of InfidelitySample

The very first step to finding a solution to any problem is to first recognize that there is a problem. Oftentimes, men who cheat on their wives ignore the warning signs that they are beginning to veer off into the wrong lane of traffic in their marriage. We disregard the red flags and suppress all the signals and indicators that we are headed down the path of destruction. Similar to how the “check engine” indicator lights up next to the speedometer in your vehicle but you tell yourself everything will be fine and delay getting it checked out for months if not years and before you know it, your engine finally goes out and now you’re stuck with no transportation and thousands of dollars worth of damages and repairs. What could have been prevented if only you had pulled over to a service station to get the warning signs checked out and addressed the issue in the early stages, is now beyond repair and you’re on the verge of losing it all.

For a lot of men, infidelity happens due to brokenness in our lives. Whether that is brokenness stemming from trauma in our childhood, past relationships, or self-imposed brokenness from pornography, substance abuse, drugs, etc. Regardless of what the root cause is, you will never get free from it until you first admit you are broken. Say this with me, “I AM BROKEN.” Let that linger for a moment. Don’t scurry past this. Society and mainstream culture consider it a sign of weakness for men to admit they are broken or need help. But I will be the first to admit that it wasn’t until I realized my brokenness that I was able to begin the process of recovery and restoration in my marriage with my wife. The bible says in James 5:16 “Confess your faults one to another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.” Although this is a painful and scary thing to do because of all the shame that comes along with confessing our faults, it is a very necessary step if you want to begin the healing journey.

Truth be told, the reason why many of us are stuck in a cycle of recklessness and brokenness is that we are unwilling to confess we have a problem and we need help. Now, let me make something very clear in no uncertain terms. THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR CHEATING ON YOUR WIFE! So before we go any further, let’s go ahead and nip that in the bud right now. Your wife is a gift from God and just like you, she has flaws, makes mistakes and sometimes misses the mark, but that’s not justification to get your needs met elsewhere by having an affair. Furthermore, contrary to popular opinion, an emotional affair is still an affair! The devil is cunning and will try to deceive you into thinking that an affair is only physical, but that is far from the truth. Don’t think that just because you haven’t slept with another woman while you’re married that you’re in the clear. Think again.

This devotional is intended specifically for men who really want change. Let me inform you up front, this devotion is not filled with pie in the sky acronyms or three-to-five-step strategies for success. It is a raw, unfiltered and scripture-based reading plan for men who are tired of living a lie and are ready to get real with God and want to rebuild their marriage. If you’re not ready to leave the side-chick or if you’re not serious about being faithful to your wife and being a man of integrity, then I suggest you not waste your time going through the motions of this reading plan just to check the boxes. But if you are sick and tired of the devil having the final say in your life and in your marriage, then tighten up your bootstraps and let's dig deeper into what God has for you.

NEXT STEPS: Write a list of the names of the people you’ve cheated on your wife with, the ones you’ve had inappropriate conversations with whether in person or via social media. Even the ones you’ve looked at with your eyes and desired to be intimate with. DO NOT SKIP THIS PROCESS! Once your list is completed, read Romans 10:9-10. Confess it to God. With a heart of repentance, take your list and burn it as an act of faith that you are forgiven.