Healthy Conflict in Marriage

Day 4 of 7 • This day’s reading


The folklore surrounding vampires has been a part of popular culture for over a century. But would it surprise you to know a key element of that legendary story shows up in many marriages?

One of the most well-known characters in classic literature is Dracula, the ghoulish vampire created by Bram Stoker in 1897. Since then, thanks to imagery portrayed in everything from movies to cartoons, vampires have become synonymous with black capes and sharp teeth. But there’s another characteristic often featured in these dark tales: a vampire’s reflection is never seen in the mirror.

On the surface, it might not seem like this obscure quality would have any practical application to our relationships. But let me ask you: on an emotional level, do you see your reflection in the mirror? For many couples, conflict is difficult to resolve because one spouse refuses to see him- or herself as part of the problem. They don’t recognize when they have a bad attitude or when they speak harshly toward others. Even when someone points out these traits, the spouse denies that it’s true.

What about you? Is it hard for you to consider the part you play in problems facing your relationship? If so, you may have trouble seeing a true reflection of yourself. Let me encourage you to work through this issue with a counselor, pastor, or a trusted friend. Marriage problems are created by both partners, but, with God’s help, so are the solutions.

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