Wisdom in Friendships

By Raquel Lopez

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.”—Hebrews 10:24

First impressions are something we all find important. We want to wear the right outfit, have the right hair, and say the right things. We want to look and act the part. And just as we take time to carefully choose how to represent our personality and unique traits, we should also be taking the time to do the same with our friendships, to choose the right friends and invest in the right relationships. But how do we know the types of friendships we should be pursuing and building?

1 Corinthians 15:33 tells us, “Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character.” Believe it or not, the friendships you create affect your identity in Christ. How so? Well, your friendships shape who you are. So let me ask you . . . When people see your friend group, do they see the same values and beliefs that you have? And does your friendship with them honor God?

God instructs us to choose our friendships carefully because our friends often help shape and determine our worldview, our philosophies, the way we see ourselves, our lives, and circumstances. So, our friendships should be centered in Christ and include things like love, honesty, encouragement, and accountability. 

Friendships centered around God DO NOT hate, destroy, or hold back your spiritual, or mental growth. They will not lead you down paths that are filled with jealousy or are self-centered. They won’t tempt you into sinful behavior and destructive habits. They won’t distort your view of truth or distract you from your purpose. Remember this wise advice: “The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray” (Proverbs 12:26).

Right now, you probably have friends you’ve known for years as well as some that you’ve made more recently. No matter how long you’ve known them, it’s important to evaluate whether or not your friendships reflects God and are drawing you more deeply into relationship with God or pulling you away from Him and His will. This is what is meant by, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17). 

It’s also important to understand what type of friend you are called to be. In the same way that you should be seeking to find belonging with people who reflect God’s grace and love, and help us walk in our God-given identity and purpose, we must be doing the same for our friends! Remember this . . . You’re not the only one making sure that your friendships are uplifting and healthy. Don’t lose hope if, at times you may need to step back from certain friendships. I know it can be hard, and I’m not encouraging you to abandon and alienate those who are far from God. We should be seeking to help draw them into relationship with Him. But there must be some wisdom in who we spend our time with and who we allow to influence our heart and life. And above all, I pray you remember that Jesus is not only our Savior but our best friend!

I encourage you to take the time to pray and ask God for wisdom in your friendships; ask that He would you if certain friendships should be created or ended.