Uncuffed: Bulletproofing the Police MarriageSample
Leave and Cleave
4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’[a] 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’[b]? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
Matthew 19:4-6
A solid police marriage is built upon the rock of an everlasting covenant. Covenants are not the same as a limited conditions contract. The example of this gift is shown to us through the very first marriage covenant between Adam and Eve. It’s called the Leave and Cleave Clause.
Don’t worry. Leaving doesn’t mean dropping your family or friends, and cleaving doesn’t mean hanging on to each other’s coattails. It’s a matter of relational priority setting.
Before I committed to making Leah my priority, I’d burned emotional energy on so many relationships that our own connection suffered. Eventually, all of those connections faded in and out, but my wife was left suffering in the wake of never knowing where I stood in our marriage.
God says nothing about friends, parents, or in-laws as part of that meshing into one. Sometimes, parents have trouble letting go. That’s why God said a man shall leave his mother and father…
That is an active term, not a lingering in between your spouse while clinging to mommy.
Your folks’ job of raising you is over because that’s a temporary assignment, but the marriage was designed to last forever. Your parents have completed their mission of raising you once you become an adult.
It’s time to leave mommy and cleave to your spouse. Your spouse must be the singularly most important person on this earth. Once I cleaved onto Leah, not only did it allow her to bask in the light of confidence in me, but it also helped me balance the relationships with everyone else in my life.
CALL TO ACTION:
Discuss the realities of what leave and cleave look like in your marriage. Are you still living with one set of parents or family? Is it because of financial or housing reasons, or is it because of a lingering attachment or guilt of leaving? Identify attachments that cause stress, and discuss how to eliminate them so that your relationship can thrive.
Scripture
About this Plan
"A good marriage saves more cops' lives than a bulletproof vest." ~ Chief Scott and Leah Silverii
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We would like to thank FIVE STONES CHURCH for providing this plan. For more information, please visit: https://www.amazon.com/Uncuffed-Bulletproofing-Law-Enforcement-Marriage/dp/1951129172