Defeating DespairSample

CONFESSION - God Cares for All of Us

From his hospital bed, a veteran turned to the chaplain with an intense stare. He started to speak but his words froze. His chin quivered. He tried again. “Chaplain, I have done horrible things. I was just a young kid when I enlisted. I wanted to serve my country. That was my purpose. I wanted to protect my family. But honestly, I had no idea what I was getting into. I have killed people with my bare hands. And I am so ashamed. I was taught, ‘Thou shall not kill.’

“I was sick after the first person I killed. I was sick after the second one, too. By the fourth one,” here the Veteran stopped, looked down and whispered, “I began to feel a rush. I enjoyed it. I got a high from killing. Now I am so ashamed, ashamed beyond words. The people I killed were someone’s husband, father, or son.”

That same morning, as the chaplain made her rounds in the veterans’ hospital, another veteran shared his story. “You know, I’ve never told anyone this, but I got a ton of guilt for what I didn’t do. Some of my buddies didn’t come back; others came back without a leg or arm. I didn’t even see combat. I feel like a failure.”

Confession is, most simply, telling our innermost story, honestly. Confession is getting real with ourselves, without defense—just telling it like it is.

Confession is a radical act of faith; for to confess is to hope that there is another who will understand, forgive, and bless us into healing. Confession is one of the greatest gifts we can give God, because God does not ask us to be perfect; rather, God asks us to give all of ourselves to God—the good, the bad, and the ugly. It is only in this gift of giving our whole selves to God that we can hope to be restored to a life-giving purpose, to a life filled with rich, deep, connected meaning.

The need for confession, to restore a sense of purpose, is as old as the Scriptures themselves. We stand in a long line of all human beings who have missed the mark of God’s will for our lives. Read the following Scriptures with the assurance that we are not alone in both the need and the difficulty in raising up an honest confession to God.

Readings from the Old Testament / Hebrew Scriptures

When God brought the Israelites back home to Jerusalem, following the period of exile in Babylonia, Ezra, the priest, offered a prayer of confession on behalf of the people.

Ezra 9:6, 15

The psalm writer speaks of the joy of forgiveness following confession.

Psalm 32:1-3, 5

The psalm writer turns to God for help in time of suffering.

Psalm 38:18, 21-22

In this psalm of confession, attributed to King David, David seeks God’s forgiveness for having arranged to have someone killed in battle.

Psalm 51:1-2, 10-12

Proverbs, one of the wisdom books of the Bible, reminds us of God’s mercy.

Proverbs 28:13

God is always ready to forgive.

Joel 2:13b

Readings from the New Testament

Come to the Lord in prayer.

James 5:13a, 16

Receive the cleansing that God offers.

1 John 1:8-9

Jesus offers words of comfort, assuring those who believe in him that they will not be judged.

John 5:21-24

Jesus came to serve God and to suffer on our behalf for the forgiveness of sins.

Hebrews 2:10-11a

Jesus understands your pain and leads you into the presence of God, where you will receive mercy.

Hebrews 4:13-16

Thoughts for reflection:

• If you have lost your sense of purpose, of being of value to yourself, to others, and to God, when did that happen? What made you decide you are no longer of worth?
• What barrier stands in the way of your deciding to see yourself as someone who is valued by God?
• What barrier stands in the way of your deciding to commit yourself to a higher purpose in your life?
• Are you willing to believe that God can bring healing to your spiritual wounds and renew a spirit of hope within you?
• Will you, in this moment, tell God your innermost secrets and ask God’s forgiveness?

Prayer

Dear God, hear my confession. Here are the reasons I have given up on you, the reasons I have lost my sense of purpose. And here are the reasons I have given up on myself…

Lord, you are the God of creation. Create a new heart within me. Renew my spirit. Give me the courage to make a commitment to start over. Help me use the wisdom I have gained through suffering to help others. Help me believe that you have not forgotten me, even though I have turned away from you.

Hear my prayer. Teach me to love and care again. Amen.