The Corona Survival Guide for CouplesSample

“You First!” makes us blessed

A few years ago, I grabbed a fat black marker and decided to “decorate” the two white throw pillows on our bed.

(I probably should have checked with my wife before unleashing my D+ artistic skills . . .)

On one pillow I inked “You” and on the other “First.” I wanted our bedroom, a symbol of our life together as a couple, to have that message front and center—You First.

After 16 years of marriage, God has taught me (often the hard way) that “You First!” makes us blessed while “Me First!” makes a mess. Whenever I get caught up in too much me—my wants, my preferences, my opinion, my plans, my schedule, my timing—our marriage is a mess. But when I put my wife first, we both end up so blessed.

That wisdom is vital as we all try to make it through the coronavirus.

Because corona has presented us with all kinds of new things to disagree about. What precautions should we take with self-isolation? Should we gather with a few family members for a birthday? Who gets to work where in the house and when and for how long? How clean should we keep the place when we’re in it 24/7? Who has to help the kids with their schoolwork while taking care of their own work? How often will we be intimate given the stress we’re dealing with? When do we all put the screens away and just talk? And who will cook this never-ending, God-help-me-make-it! string of meals?

You been there?

Every difference of opinion is a slow pitch for you to either (1) make a mess or (2) make you blessed. 

Listen to God’s guidance: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others” (Philippians 2:3,4). 

I know that can be hard. The selfish part of our hearts can always find a reason or two (or 128) why “me” should come first this time. But God wants the long-term blessing that comes out of short-term sacrifice. So he calls us to choose and live a “You First!” life.

But don’t worry—you have Jesus to help you. Immediately after these challenging words, we hear about the Savior who put us first. Read Philippians 2:5-10 for proof. Despite being in very nature God, Jesus humbled himself and became our servant. He loved lowly people like you, took time for insignificant people like me, and eventually hung on a cross to put us first.

And that makes us so blessed!

Because Jesus put us first, we have God with us wherever we hunker down. We have his wonderfully stubborn love that refuses to let us go, even when we have to keep our distance from one another. In the room where you are (I’m talking to you, child of God!), there is the very God who created the universe! He’s that close! That glorious God is with you!

Because Jesus put you first.

How can we ever thank God for love like that? Here’s one suggestion: “Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another” (1 John 4:11).

How blessed you both will be when you fix your eyes on Jesus and then say to your significant other, “You First!”