Saving Your Second Marriage Before It Starts

Day 1 of 7 • This day’s reading


Have you Faced the Myths of Marriage With Honesty?

A young bride-to-be was very nervous on the day before her wedding, so she spoke with her minister. "I'm afraid I might not make it through the ceremony properly," she confessed.

The minister assured her that everything would be fine: "When you enter the church tomorrow and the processional begins, you will be walking down the same aisle you've walked many times before. Concentrate on that aisle. When you get halfway down the aisle, you'll see the altar, where you and your family have worshiped for many years. Concentrate on that altar. Then, when you're almost to the altar, you will see your groom, the one you love. Concentrate on him."

The bride was relieved, and left to prepare for her big moment. The next day, she walked down the aisle with her chin up and eyes bright—a beautiful, confident bride. But those along the center were a bit surprised to hear her muttering over and over: "Aisle, altar, him. Aisle, altar, him."

They heard: “I’ll alter him.”

This unintended mantra may not have been conscious for this new bride, but an outright expectation for some. In fact, on most Saturdays, you’ll find us in a church somewhere in the country giving a marriage seminar. And soon into the start of the day we often pose a task to the couples in the crowd: name one common myth of marriage. Inevitably, someone will say something along the lines of: “I’ll change him after we marry.” It’s a common notion – but an obvious falsehood.

We can’t change our spouse. A person has to want to change if they are to make true and lasting modifications to the way they behave. What we can change, however, is ourselves. That’s why we pose this question for you to discuss with each other: What’s one thing you’d like to change about you that would make you a better marriage partner? And how does this biblical passage speak to your answer?

Are you reading the book Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts yet? If not, you can learn more here.