Dating In Black & White: Boundaries, Sex & RealitySample

Don’t Ditch Your Deal Breakers

It is important to establish deal breakers in your dating relationships. These are set in place to keep you from moving forward in your relationship if there is an issue that would eventually make you miserable in the future and could potentially ruin a marriage. It’s also important to know which areas or issues you can compromise without resentment.

A lot of people misunderstand what deal breakers are and how they are meant to help you and not harm you. A deal breaker is something you establish as an individual before you get too emotionally connected to someone you’re dating, before you’re head-over-heels in love. All too often, people get involved so quickly they forget to pay attention to the signs and issues or red flags that could potentially destroy the relationship. Or worse, they see them but ignore them altogether. 

A deal-breaker is black and white; it leaves no room for compromise. It is the one thing (or multiple things) that you will not allow into your relationship. Deal breakers can consist of both spiritual and practical matters, and they must be established while you are in a sober state of mind, before you become too emotionally connected to another person. 

Those who have a tendency to ignore deal breakers have what we call “emotional blinders.” They are willing to compromise in an area that has the potential to ruin something in their future. This is also another good reason to have accountability partners while dating; they’re not prone to the emotional blinders that you are.

Take some time today to write down your deal breakers so you can use them as a reference in your dating relationships. It’s important to determine what your deal breakers are, as your deal breakers are going to be unique to you. 

You also need to know that if you encounter a deal breaker, you have the strength to walk away from the relationship and not settle. Don’t let the fear of never finding someone cause you to settle for the wrong one. 

Yes, it can be an upsetting and difficult choice to make, but you will be much happier in the long-run when you can stand up for yourself. 

If you are single, take some time right now and list the things that are very important to you that you will not compromise in a relationship. 

If you are already dating someone, evaluate your relationship and make sure you aren’t making allowances for any deal breakers.