Profound Mystery: Marriage Lessons from EphesiansSample

Promises Kept

As I stood to leave the table, the guys I had been playing cards with let out a collective sigh. They wanted me to stay, but my wife wanted me home. Their shaking heads and scowls confirmed what they thought of my decision to cut the night short even before one of them sneezed out the word, “Whipped!”

Part of me wanted to stay, but there was something more important at stake than their approval. 

Long before that game night had ever been planned, I promised God that I would forsake all others and be faithful only to my wife. This was not simply a pledge to rebuff unwanted sexual advances. I promised God that I would choose to honor her needs first, whatever they were. I would say no to others, so that I could say yes to my wife.

As verbal pressure mounted for me to stay in the game, I needed to ask myself, Who would I be more willing to disappoint, my friends or my wife? But more importantly, if I forsook my wife, would I be breaking a promise that I made to God? 

God takes vows seriously. Deuteronomy 23:23 warns, “You shall be careful to do what has passed your lips, for you have voluntarily vowed to the Lord your God what you have promised with your mouth.”

Out of reverence for Christ and the promise that I made Him, I needed to submit to my wife’s wishes.

“Submitting to each other” in marriage doesn’t mean that we simply give in to whatever our spouse wants, but it does require us to learn how to place the needs of our spouse ahead of our own. One way to do this is to ask yourself, “Will getting my way help my spouse or hurt my spouse?” It might not seem like a big deal to me to stay out for a couple more hours, but what would the impact be on her? 

Another question to consider is, “Will my actions help my spouse get closer to God or farther away from Him?” Am I demonstrating that it is okay to not keep your word? By leaving her alone with the kids, am I causing her to be so exhausted that she won’t have any energy left to study God’s Word? Am I leaving her vulnerable to temptations by my absence?

When we take a step back, it becomes easier to see the big picture.

When I walked through the door, my wife’s eyes beamed. “You’re home early,” she said.

“Of course. I told you I would. Besides … where else would I rather be?”

Pray: Lord, I confess that I often want things my way. Teach me how to submit to my spouse out of reverence for You and the calling that You have placed on our lives. 

For more help on this topic read, “Shock Your Spouse and Kids With This Question” by Dave Boehi on FamilyLife.com.