ThroughSample

An understanding of grace is central to a time in the wilderness. It’s grace which sustains and grace which leads us from that place. The idea of grace – that unmerited love, which is personified in the person of Jesus, and in the love of the Father for us – is often bandied around in Christian circles, and yet not fully grasped. So what is it?

The Oxford Dictionary defines it as “the free and unmerited favour of God, as manifested in the salvation of sinners and the bestowal of blessings.” Most would agree with this definition, in particular the wording of “free and unmerited favour of God”, even though in more recent years the particular focus in many Christian circles has been on the blessings which come with that grace. But where is grace in the wilderness when we need it most and when “blessings” seem to have dried up? We might well shout at God and shake our fists, wondering where the “favour of God” is while we’re enduring desperation and darkness.

Also, human beings love making deals. From our earliest days, we learn the way things work in the world. We’re told, “Sarah invited you to her party so you’d better invite her to yours” or “Jabu helped you with your homework, so you need to select him first when you choose the team at soccer practice.” There’s a reciprocity to all we do. One writer refers to this as the “debtor’s ethic”, which he describes as: “Because you’ve done something good for me, I feel indebted to do something good for you.” But this is the exact antithesis of grace.

Many of us still deal with God in this way. We understand the concept of grace – that God shows us “free and unmerited favour” – and yet, because of our sinfulness and how badly we’ve fallen short of perfection, we feel that there must be some way to pay God back. Surely he couldn’t help us out of this mess and not expect something in return?

This is particularly so while we’re in the wilderness. We start doubting both our own strength and God’s promises. So, we try to barter with God. “If you get me out of this situation, then I’ll. . .” Or perhaps, “If you bring him back to me, then I’ll. . .” Or “If you help me to get through this week without looking at another pornographic site, or smoking another joint, or visiting the pub, then I’ll. . .” There are countless variations on the theme, but the principle remains the same. As soon as we try to pay God back for the grace he has shown us, it ceases to be grace and becomes a business transaction.

As we walk in the wilderness, for however long it takes, it’s good to remember that God loves us. He really does. There are many examples of him expressing it in his long love letter to his people, the Bible. As it says in Psalm 139, he’s known us since before we were born, and his plans continue to be for our good, despite how difficult that might be to believe while our lives are in turmoil.

We are to take God at his word and to realise that his grace can’t be repaid, only accepted. He wants to carry you through this wilderness experience, as a father tenderly carries his hurting or scared child. He wants to speak gently to you, and he knows precisely the pain through which you’re going. His love is unconditional and relentless, just as it was when his own son was led into the wilderness all those years ago. You may be tempted, especially on the dark days, to cry out to God with a deal: “If you will... then I will, for the rest of my life.”

It’s not needed. That’s the good news.

You don’t need to make any deal with God. He’s already there, carrying you, surrounding you with his protection. This promise of what God’s nature is – that he is looking after you – occurs many times in the Bible. Trust him to do just that. Remind yourself daily of his grace and countless blessings, and that no amount of payback will ever get close to refunding him for what he’s already done, and continues to do, for you. Thank him constantly for every little blessing. Ask him to open your eyes to those blessings, because sometimes we become so sucked into despair that we become blind to them. And take a chance that his grace is indeed sufficient, and that his power is made perfect in your weakness.

Some thoughts to ponder:

• Do you sometimes find yourself trying to make 'deals' with God?
• How does it feel to know that God's love isn't transactional and that you can never repay him for his grace?