Letting Go of Revenge and Letting God Heal

By Romina Chevren

“While they were on the way, the report came to David: ‘Absalom has struck down all the king’s sons; not one of them is left.’ The king stood up, tore his clothes and lay down on the ground, and all his attendants stood by with their clothes torn. But Jonadab son of Shimeah, David’s brother, said, ‘My lord should not think that they killed all the princes; only Amnon is dead. This has been Absalom’s expressed intention ever since the day Amnon raped his sister Tamar. My lord the king should not be concerned about the report that all the king’s sons are dead. Only Amnon is dead.’ Meanwhile, Absalom had fled. Now the man standing watch looked up and saw many people on the road west of him, coming down the side of the hill. The watchman went and told the king, ‘I see men in the direction of Horonaim, on the side of the hill.’ Jonadab said to the king, ‘See, the king’s sons have come; it has happened just as your servant said.’ As he finished speaking, the king’s sons came in, wailing loudly. The king too and all his attendants wept very bitterly. Absalom fled and went to Talmai son of Ammihud, the king of Geshur. But King David mourned many days for his son. After Absalom fled and went to Geshur, he stayed there three years. And King David longed to go to Absalom, for he was consoled concerning Amnon’s death.”—2 Samuel 13:30-39 (NIV)

This passage is one of the most heartbreaking in David’s family history. After the violation of Tamar by her half-brother Amnon, King David failed to act. He was angry, but he remained silent. That silence created a gap that Absalom, Tamar’s full brother, chose to fill—not with healing, but with revenge. For two years, Absalom let his fury grow in the shadows. Time didn’t bring peace; it only hardened his resolve. Eventually, he carried out a calculated plan to have Amnon killed.

The aftermath is chaotic. David receives the devastating (and false) news that all his sons have been murdered. In an instant, sorrow engulfs him. But then the truth is revealed: only Amnon is dead, and Absalom has fled in exile. Still, the grief is overwhelming—David mourns bitterly for both the son who died and the son who ran.

This narrative paints a vivid picture of complicated grief—a sorrow layered with regret, silence, and brokenness. It reveals what happens when justice is delayed, when communication breaks down, and when pain is buried instead of brought before God. Some say “time heals all wounds,” but this story shows the opposite. Some wounds fester. Some hurts, when unspoken and unresolved, grow into something destructive.

Absalom’s revenge may have seemed like justice in the moment, but it didn’t restore Tamar’s dignity. It didn’t bring her peace. It only deepened the rift in the family and multiplied the pain.

And isn’t that how revenge works in real life, too? Time doesn’t always heal—but God does. Revenge may feel powerful in the moment, but it only deepens the pain. Only God’s justice brings healing.

Take a moment to ask yourself: Is there a situation I’ve buried rather than surrendered? A person I need to forgive? A pain I need to stop carrying alone?

God isn’t asking you to fix it alone—He’s inviting you to bring it to Him. Let go, and let God lead you to peace.

Pause: Have you ever been so hurt or angry that revenge felt justified? Maybe you didn’t act on it, but the thoughts consumed you, shaped your responses, and stole your peace. It's easy to believe that striking back will bring closure, but it never really does.

Absalom's story reminds us that revenge is a false answer. It doesn't bring healing—it just spreads the pain. The desire for revenge doesn’t come from God. He never asks us to fix injustice with more brokenness. Instead, He promises that He will fight our battles.

Practice: Deuteronomy 20:4 (NLT) says, “For the Lord your God is going with you! He will fight for you against your enemies, and he will give you victory!” What a powerful truth. God doesn’t leave us alone with our pain. He sees the injustice, He knows the betrayal, and He goes before us.

Today, reflect on these practical steps:

1. Acknowledge the anger – Be honest with God about the pain or resentment you're holding.

2. Surrender the desire for revenge – Confess it, and ask the Lord to lift that burden from your heart.

3. Trust God with justice – Believe that He will deal rightly, in His way and in His time.

Pray: Lord, You know the wounds I carry. You see the moments when anger and hurt rise up in me. Forgive me for the times I’ve longed for revenge or harbored bitterness in my heart. I choose today to release that weight and trust You to fight for me. You are just, You are faithful, and You promise victory. Fill me with Your peace and teach me to forgive, so I may walk in the freedom and joy You desire for me. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.