I’m Just a Guy: Who’s AshamedSample

When Shame Takes the Wheel

“I can’t believe I did it again.”
Does that sound familiar? Those seven words have a way of echoing in my mind, stirring up guilt, disappointment, and the deep ache of shame.

That feeling doesn’t stay contained—it festers. Before I know it, my head hangs low, my confidence is gone, and I’ve mentally benched myself from the game.

What’s interesting is that shame doesn’t show up the same way in all of us. For some men, it comes after trying to find the bottom of a bottle. For others, it hides in the arms of someone who isn’t their spouse—or behind a website that promises pleasure but delivers pain.

For me, shame most often meets me in the kitchen.

I’ve used food as my comfort mechanism for as long as I can remember. When life presses in, a full plate can feel like a soft landing spot—a hit of dopamine that helps me keep moving. But it never really helps, does it? It just numbs.

And here’s the truth: I’ve yet to meet a man who doesn’t wrestle with shame in some form. This tool of the enemy keeps too many of us sidelined, living beneath who God created us to be.

When I turn to Scripture, I see that shame has been around since the beginning. After Eve took the bite of the forbidden fruit, Adam stood there silent—and when God called him out, shame hit like a tidal wave. His first response wasn’t repentance. It was excuses.

And if I’m honest, that hits close to home. Because when shame shows up in my own life, I often do the same thing—justify, explain, rationalize. But here’s something I’ve learned over the years:

Rationalization is just making rational lies.

What if Adam had owned up to his mistake right away? We’ll never know—but that question reminds me that the only real way to defeat shame is through honest acceptance of the past.

Adam tried to hide his failure, and it cost him everything. I don’t say that to condemn him—most of us would’ve done the same thing. The danger isn’t in making a mistake; it’s in how we respond when we realize we’ve failed.

Shame whispers lies that twist God’s truth. It tells us to hide when what we need most is to run to the Father.

This isn’t going to be an easy journey. But my prayer is that as we walk through this study together, you’ll start to see yourself through the lens of grace instead of guilt. You’ll begin to recognize your true identity—the man God created you to be, not the one shame tries to keep in the driver’s seat.

Reflection Questions:

• Where in your life is shame trying to take the wheel?
• What would it look like to stop hiding and let God meet you there?