When Leadership Feels Heavy

By Romina Chevren

“Then they all came and urged David to eat something while it was still day; but David took an oath, saying, ‘May God deal with me, be it ever so severely, if I taste bread or anything else before the sun sets!’ All the people took note and were pleased; indeed, everything the king did pleased them. So on that day all the people there and all Israel knew that the king had no part in the murder of Abner son of Ner. Then the king said to his men, ‘Do you not realize that a commander and a great man has fallen in Israel this day? And today, though I am the anointed king, I am weak, and these sons of Zeruiah are too strong for me. May the Lord repay the evildoer according to his evil deeds!’”—2 Samuel 3:35–39 (NIV)

David had just suffered a complicated and unjust tragedy. Abner, a former enemy who had recently come in peace to help unite Israel under David’s rule, was murdered by Joab—David’s own military commander and the brother of Asahel, whom Abner had killed in self-defense. Joab’s act wasn’t justice—it was personal vengeance.

In the aftermath, David is left grieving, not just for Abner, but for the damage done to his leadership and the unity he was working to build. This moment in David’s life is filled with raw emotion: sorrow, frustration, and a painful awareness of his limitations.

“Though I am the anointed king, I am weak.” What a powerful statement. David had the crown, the authority, and the people’s favor—but he still felt weak. He couldn’t control the actions of everyone under his command, especially Joab and his brother Abishai. He couldn’t undo the murder. He couldn’t fix the broken trust or erase the consequences. Leadership, for David, felt heavy—and lonely.

Have you ever felt that way? You may not be a king, but maybe you’ve been in a position where people look to you for strength, answers, or guidance—and all you feel is weakness. Maybe you're a parent trying to hold your family together, a leader trying to navigate conflict, or a friend trying to carry someone else's burdens. You want to do what’s right, but the situation is messy, and people around you act in ways you can’t control.

In moments like these, David shows us what godly leadership looks like. He responds not with ego, but with humility, grief, and dependence on God.

He fasts—not out of obligation, but out of respect for Abner and as a way to distance himself from the injustice done. He speaks truthfully about the injustice, yet refrains from taking revenge himself. And instead of trying to fix everything in his own strength, he entrusts the outcome to the Lord: “May the Lord repay the evildoer according to his evil deeds.”

David didn’t deny his weakness—he owned it, but he didn’t give up either. He brought his weakness to God, trusting that where his strength ended, God's justice would prevail.

Pause:

·Are you carrying a burden of leadership, influence, or responsibility that feels too heavy?

·Are you trying to fix situations or people you can’t control?

Practice:

1.Like David, admit where you feel weak. That’s where God’s strength can meet you.

2.In the face of injustice or pain, resist the urge to control. Instead, respond with grace and truth.

3.Let God deal with what’s beyond you. Rest in the truth that He sees and repays every deed.

Pray: Lord, there are times when leadership feels heavy, when the problems around me are too big, and the people are too strong for me to manage. Help me to lead with humility, to respond with wisdom, and to trust in Your justice above all. Strengthen me in my weakness, and give me peace when I can’t control the outcomes. You are the true King, and I place my trust in You. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.