What Happened to Us in Eden? - Psychology of the FallSample

DEPENDENCE AND INTERDEPENDENCE

By defending a misunderstood form of dependence—as unilateral submission of woman to man—the biblical emphasis on interdependence has been lost. And yet interdependence is essential for everything to work. This is the “together,” the “mutual,” the “one another” we Christians speak of so often (unity, in short). It applies to men and women every bit as much as to the other areas where we like to mention it.

The Christian life begins with oneness with the Lord, continues in the home, and then projects outward. But we’ve inverted those priorities, and that simply doesn’t work.

I dare say, after much observation, that we are designed so that things only work rightly this way: interdependently. And this is seen in very practical, everyday situations—starting with household tasks, continuing in sexuality, and, for example, in raising children.

• When each of us self-sacrifices, regardless of gender, everything works. That is one of the clearest expressions of love.
• When, on the other hand, we seek our own benefit above the other’s, it is the chronicle of a death foretold. Selfishness is always the true enemy, the opposite of love.

The usual emphasis on unilateral dependence of woman toward man has led to seeing her in a deeply utilitarian way. Sometimes this is so subtle that we struggle to recognize it. “She was created for whatever he needs, and that is her function” would be a blunt way of stating that view. And it is true in part—but no more true than the reverse, I believe. That is why, once again, it is not the whole truth. It puts too much weight on one side.

She was created to fill what he lacked (because—obvious though it may seem—he was missing things, just as she was in his absence). That is why Paul specifies in 1 Corinthians that woman was created for man, and not the other way around. He was not emphasizing subjugation but rather reminding us that man, on his own, could not fulfill the divine mandate—and not only because he couldn’t reproduce.

Later in the same passage, Paul reminds woman that she too cannot go it alone. The balance is perfect.