The Grace to Stay: Holding on When Marriage Is HardSample

Turning In, Not Against

Do you ever catch yourself thinking, “If my spouse would just do this, or stop doing that, then everything would finally be okay”? That’s the subtle but dangerous trap of blame.

We see it all the way back in the Garden. When God confronted Adam, Adam blamed Eve, and Eve blamed the serpent. And the enemy has been using the same tactic ever since. Why? Because as long as we are pointing fingers at each other, we’ll never address the deeper work of healing God wants to do in us.

Blame hardens our hearts. It fuels ungodly reactions and unloving behavior. It blinds us to the opportunity to reflect God’s love in our own homes.

If you are in a hard season of marriage, I want to gently invite you to turn inward. Instead of focusing on what your spouse should fix, ask the Lord to search your heart. Let Him show you how you may have contributed to the conflict, or how to bring resolution, and what your best next step forward should be.

This is where patience does its deep work in us: so we can change, heal, and grow into the people God designed us to be.

Reflection:

What struggles or frustrations have you been blaming your spouse for? How might God be inviting you to shift your focus and allow Him to work first in your heart?

Prayer:

“Lord, help me to release blame and turn my heart toward You. Show me where I need to change, soften me where I’ve grown hard, and teach me to love with Your patience and grace. Begin Your healing work in me so it can flow into my marriage. Amen.”