God's Design for MenSample

Married or Single Men

When I was a young and single pastor, I had a church full of well-meaning people trying to set me up on dates.

I appreciated their efforts, which came from a good place, but my question was always, “How do we know God is calling me to marriage?” There was (and still is) a real pressure in Christian culture that a godly man must get married, and that my life was somehow lacking until that happened.

God would eventually lead me to a wife, but this is a question every man must pray through and wrestle with. As today’s passage demonstrates, both marriage and singleness are celebrated in the Kingdom of God.

Jesus made clear that some should marry, but others should live single and celibate lives for the sake of the Kingdom (Matthew 19:12)—and He would, of course, be the best example of that. In the New Testament, neither marriage nor singleness is significantly elevated over the other; both are valid expressions of masculinity.

God calls married men to a life of loving leadership and sacrifice for the sake of our wives and children, putting their needs ahead of our own and using our strength to protect and provide for them (Ephesians 5:25-30).

God calls single men to a life of faithful service to Him and others, using our time and resources to bless others and glorify God, finding the blessings of community in our extended families and through the Church.

Marriage is a wonderful blessing from God that comes with some significant challenges. Singleness is a wonderful blessing from God that comes with some significant challenges. The blessings and challenges are different, but are not better or worse.

Jesus, the perfect Man, lived a life of singleness and fulfilled His calling to God perfectly. He shows us that a man does not need to be married to live faithfully before God. Also, His love for His metaphorical Bride, the Church, shows us that a married man loves and sacrifices everything for the woman He loves, and we married men should do the same.

Men are at their best when they faithfully live out their calling, using their marriage or singleness as a platform to bless and serve others, enjoying community and connection in whatever form it takes.

God’s design for men leaves room for marriage and singleness, calling men to faithful and sacrificial service, whichever path they take.

Prayer: Father, thank You for calling me in this season to be married/single. I recognize its challenges, but I receive it with thanksgiving for the good gift that it is! Give me peace and strength to live out this calling with excellence, glorifying You and blessing others as I do. Amen.

Reflection: If married, find a way to surprise your wife with something special in a small way today. If single, find a friend or family member to connect with and bless them with some words of encouragement.