Helping Your Kids Know God's Good DesignSample

How Do I Talk Biblically with My Children About Sex?

Years ago, it was common for parents to have one awkward sex talk with their child, usually when the child was somewhere between the ages of eight and fourteen. If this is what you experienced growing up, you may want to make having “the talk” with your child less awkward but still believe that the traditional eight-to-fourteen age frame will work. I applaud you for desiring to make the sex talk less awkward, but I would encourage you not to wait to have this conversation until your child is eight or older. At Foundation Worldview, I recommend that parents start having the first of many sex talks with their children around the age of four. You may have read that last sentence and thought, Oh my goodness! Are you kidding me, Elizabeth? Four years old? But let me explain: I am not suggesting that you sit down with your four-year-old and talk through every single detail of the mechanics of sex. However, I am suggesting that to ensure your child understands the inherent goodness of God’s design for sex, you need to begin this ongoing conversation before they are bombarded with lies from culture.

You have probably noticed that we live in a world that aggressively promotes an unbiblical vision of sexuality, even to the youngest of children. Not only does our world balk at the idea of reserving sex for marriage, but it also pushes the narrative that true freedom is the removal of all sexual boundaries. This vision is being actively pushed upon our children through the books placed on shelves of the local library, the storylines written into children’s shows and movies, the content that algorithms promote on our household devices, and the advertisements our children see on billboards and street corners. This means that if the world, with its faulty understanding of sexuality, educates our children before we do, our children’s formative understanding of sex will be anything but biblical.

I know that sounds scary, and it is. However, as Christians, we need not give in to fear. Instead, we can intentionally and prayerfully use the tools God has given us to proactively prepare our children to understand the truth of God’s good design and reject the lies of our culture.

The good news is that God’s good design for sex and marriage is made clear right from the first few chapters of Genesis, and then it is confirmed throughout the Bible. From the initial chapters in Genesis, we can break down Scripture’s teachings on sex and marriage into three main points:

1. Marriage is a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman (Matthew 19:4-6)

2. God designed sex as a good gift in marriage for intimacy and the creation of children (Genesis 1:28)

3. All forms of sex outside of a one-man-and-one-woman marriage covenant are sin (Hebrews 13:4)

God is the author of sex and marriage. He makes clear his design for these gifts in Scripture, and his design is good. Once we have a firm grasp on what Scripture teaches about sexuality, we are ready to begin having conversations with our children, helping them understand the goodness and beauty of God’s design.