Going with grief

Some grief is loud. It floods the room. Other grief hides quietly in the corners—wordless, heavy, and hard to name. In The Chosen, Simon Peter experiences this kind of sorrow. After losing a child, he doesn’t explode. He pulls away. He fishes all night. He avoids Jesus. Keeps it inside. And when he finally does speak, it’s raw and harrowing: “You let it happen!”

We don’t find this miscarriage story in the Bible, but somehow the storyline feels like it could fit the character of Simon Peter. We do know Simon Peter knew his fair share of grief from the Bible. After one of his most painful failures, the denial of Christ, the Gospels say Simon Peter wept bitterly. Ah yes, even tough fishermen sometimes break. It’s okay if you sometimes do the same.

The question is: where do we go with that grief? Where do the tears flow? Some of us bury it and hold it firmly inside. Some spiritualize it too quickly, and thereby nullify it and live through it too little.

But the Bible gives us another way for our grief. Not a path of ignoring or one of engulfing, but the path of lamenting. A practice and space where we can bring our anguish honestly to God—not dressed up, not resolved, just real.

Psalm 42 says, “My tears have been my food day and night… Why, my soul, are you downcast?” There’s no shame in sorrow. No fault in grief. And there’s no conflict between deep faith and deep sadness. In fact, grief can be a strange kind of trust—believing God is still there, even when it hurts to look up. Jesus didn’t correct Simon Peter’s grief. He met him in it. Not with answers, but with presence.

One could say that Jesus let Simon Peter have his tears. That He let him pass through his grief on his own. I certainly like to think so. God doesn’t wipe away our tears just yet. He will, as we’ll read today, but in this there still will be sorrow. But we’re not alone. God is with us, and all of His promises will come to fruition.

Until that day when every tear is wiped away—what promise of God do you need to hold onto now?