BeLovedSample

Pain Stories

I once found my eight-year-old son curled up on the bed, sobbing his eyes out. Concerned, I asked him what was wrong. Through his tears, he blurted out, “I will never trust people ever again!”

As both a mom and a counsellor, that statement hit me hard. I sat down to comfort him and gently asked what had happened. He proceeded to explain, with all the seriousness in the world, that his best friend had “killed” him—on Minecraft, the video game he was playing.

Shew.

I leaned in to cuddle him and help him process those big emotions. But he quickly pulled back and said, “Mom, you’re a mental health counsellor… not a Minecraft counsellor.” Ha!

While the story may be funny, the pain behind it is real. We all carry pain stories. And the danger is this: if left unprocessed, our pain begins to shape the inner narratives about ourselves, others, and even God. These narratives become the filters through which we interpret life and protect ourselves from future hurt—just like my son’s vow to never trust anyone again.

Unhealed pain may sound childish on the surface—but its impact runs deep if left unchecked. These narratives as known as early narrative formation. Children (and adults) interpret painful experiences by forming internal scripts—“People can’t be trusted,” or “I must protect myself to stay safe.”

Even seemingly small moments, like being “betrayed” in a game, can trigger disproportionate emotional responses when they hit a core need—like belonging, being loved, or loyalty. Left unprocessed, these narratives can evolve into lifelong defense mechanisms such as withdrawal, hyper-independence, or relational avoidance.

Theologically, we see that God never dismisses pain; He meets us in it. Scripture tells us that Jesus, even as a child, grew in wisdom and in favor with both God and man (Luke 2:52), navigating human relationships in a broken world. Yet He did so without sin, never allowing pain to distort His perception of the Father or others. Trust, in God's Kingdom, isn’t based on flawless people but on a flawless God. The invitation is not to avoid pain, but to let God reshape our stories through His truth, healing, and presence. As Psalm 34:18 reminds us, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted.”

You are not alone in your pain story. May I encourage you to lean in with great courage and journey with me over the next five days to the heart of the Father. You will discover that you belong and are loved. That the love of the Father is even deeper than that of a mother.

Reflection Questions:

1. Reflect back on your story where you’ve felt invisible, unwanted, or didn’t belong.
2. What was the narrative you told yourself?
3. How did you choose to behave to protect yourself from further hurt?

Prayer:
Father, You see the places where I’ve been hurt, overlooked, and rejected. Thank You that You do not despise my pain but desire to heal it. Meet me in it today, and begin rewriting my story with Your truth. Amen.