I'm Just a Guy: Raising a Son(s)Sample

Called to Build a Man

They told me I was having a boy—but a better description would have been: you’ve been assigned to raise a man.

After being a multiple-time girl dad, a quiet unease bubbled up. I’d learned so much raising daughters, and now the playbook felt different. Dolls would give way to trucks; makeover parties to wrestling matches.

A lot of worldly advice about raising sons fixates on activities and behavior—what he should do. Upon reflection, I think that actually is a masquerade for potential failure, and here’s why: if I focus primarily on his performance, I’ll neglect the deeper work of forming his heart—and my own. My son is with me for a short season, so I can equip him for what matters most: a personal relationship with Christ and the courage to see himself as God sees him when the world says otherwise.

But here’s what’s really pressing on me: if I’m called to build up a man, then I have to examine my own walk with the Lord. God wired each of us to think, respond, and act in unique ways, but one of the greatest gifts I can give my son is a front-row seat to how a man of God lives—especially when life hits hard. The “man talks” matter, but the daily example matters more. How I speak to, treat, and love his mama is shaping the template he’ll carry into future relationships—and one day, into marriage.

A single “birds and bees” conversation won’t land if the daily interactions don’t back it up. The same is true spiritually: guiding him to Christ can’t be reduced to how often we show up at church. Even if we were “super Christians” who never miss a Sunday and hit every midweek gathering, there’s still a lot of week left. I’ve realized how many everyday moments I used to miss—opportunities for growth, prayer, and honest discipleship at home.

He needs to see and experience how his dad pursues Christ: Scripture reading, reflection, prayer, devotion, worship. I’m still learning—and I know this can’t be outsourced. It has to be a priority.

It boils down to this: 1 Kings calls us to “show yourself a man.” If God has trusted you, as He has me, with a son, that call starts with our pursuit of Him. My encouragement? Put down the how-to books a little more often and pick up the Bible. Deepen your personal walk with God. That’s where the Kingdom impact begins—and that’s how we raise boys into men.

Reflection Questions:

• How is your daily walk with Christ shaping your son?
• Where are you modeling love, respect, and self-control at home?